Three weeks into Season 5, the latest batch of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City taglines are finally here! I’m not sure why Real Housewives of New York’s taglines got a major pre-premiere rollout, while we had to wait weeks for RHOSLC, but alas. Were they worth the wait?
RHOSLC has a, let’s say, unique history with taglines. No other Real Housewife had a tagline used against her in a court case, the way Jen Shah did. That tagline was, “The only thing I’m guilty of is being Shah-mazing!”
For Season 5, did any of the current Real Housewives of Salt Lake City give us a shocking tagline? How did newcomer Bronwyn Newport do on her first try? How was Mary Cosby’s first tagline in three years? Did Meredith Marks reference bathtubs again? Without further ado, here’s how we’d rank the RHOSLC Season 5 taglines, from best to worst.
Lisa Barlow: “Tequila is my livelihood, and my lifestyle is always top shelf”
Baby Gorgeous does it again! Lisa Barlow just won best RHOSLC tagline for the second season in a row. And, in my opinion, she might have a winning streak of the best taglines for all five Real Housewives of Salt Lake City seasons so far. That’s a batting average on par with her fellow Real Housewives Lisa and former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Lisa Vanderpump.
It only makes sense that Salt Lake City’s Lisa is so good at taglines because she’s eternally quotable. And her confidence always shines through. This year, Lisa reminds us she’s very proud of her tequila. That was the subject of one of Lisa’s earliest one-liners: “I’m sure other Mormons care that I own a tequila company, what’s important is that I don’t.” This tagline is also perfect because the season opened with a party for her brand. And what a party it was …
Mary Cosby: “God is my shepherd, and you all look like sheep”
Mary Cosby’s tagline perfectly displays what she brings to RHOSLC. That is, pure comedy and absurdity. I’m not sure if this tagline actually makes sense. But it made me literally laugh out loud. Based on the comments on Bravo’s Instagram post, many RHOSLC fans reacted the same way. Tamra Judge even commented, “Mary for the win.”
The last time Mary had a tagline was in Season 2. That year, she gave us an…interesting one: “Don’t come for me, or I will send Jesus after you.” It’s a tagline that Real Housewives fans will never forget! While her Season 5 tagline is less shocking, it’s still so uniquely Mary Cosby. She gets extra points for originality.
Angie Katsanevas: “You may have been in a sorority, but I’m Greek for life, baby!”
Angie Katsanevas’ presence in the opening credits already got a lot of attention, as she’s the new center snowflake holder. Her hilarious tagline shows that she’s earned that spot! Much like her new bestie Mary, Angie thrives when she leans into her wacky sense of humor. As a commenter on the Instagram post put it, “This is Mary and Angie’s season. I don’t make the rules. The lord does.”
Naturally, Angie K’s Season 5 tagline shouted out her Greek heritage, which she is extremely proud of. This season, for instance, she’s rocking a Greek flag version of her now-signature giant sunglasses. No one can accuse her of being subtle.
I’m sure Angie knows about the Watch What Crappens impression of her, which is to scream, “I am Greek!” Because this tagline is essentially a twist on that podcast bit. The way she leans into jokes about herself is one of the things that makes Angie K a fan favorite.
Bronwyn Newport: “The only thing muted you’ll find in my wardrobe, is my black card”
So far, there are two main reasons why Salt Lake’s newest Real Housewife Bronwyn Newport stands out amongst the pack. One is that she loves over-the-top couture – don’t call it a costume! And two, she is very, very rich. As in, maybe the richest Real Housewives of Salt Lake City star yet. Just recently, we learned that Bronwyn is the one Real Housewife Christian Siriano will dress because she pays for the clothes.
Bronwyn’s striking style earned her attention as soon as her casting was announced. It also provided the foundation for her new connections within the group. She bonded with Mary over fashion but got off on the wrong foot with friend of Britani Bateman.
We’re only a few episodes into this season. But at some point, I hope we learn more about Bronwyn’s personality aside from her sense of style. For now, this tagline is fairly fun and fabulous, but not terribly memorable.
Heather Gay: “Don’t play me – I’ve got the receipts, proof, and the screenshots”
On the one hand, you can’t blame Heather Gay for incorporating her most famous quote into a tagline. “Receipts! Proof! Screenshots! Timeline!” was everywhere after the RHOSLC Season 4 finale earlier this year. It was quoted both in Congress and by the White House Twitter account. Unfortunately, this also means that RHOSLC fans are getting pretty tired of it by now.
To be fair, its extreme ubiquity is not Heather’s fault. I imagine it would seem weird if she didn’t incorporate the quote into her tagline. However, it means a lot of viewers are not looking forward to hearing it every single week of the season. This quote wasn’t the only iconic thing about Heather’s Season 4 finale performance, so I’m sure there’s something else she could’ve come up with.
Whitney Rose: “On my healing journey, I always travel first class”
Speaking of tired, Whitney Rose’s healing (or, as she says, hilling) journey is back. Whitney was set up to be the villain this season, going so far as to reach out to the group’s sworn enemy. You’d think she’d lean into the villain role, which could inspire some fun taglines. Instead, we got yet another reference to the hilling journey she’s talked about for years.
Another reason this tagline feels stale is that it’s remarkably similar to one of NeNe Leakes’ taglines. In Real Housewives of Atlanta Season 12, NeNe’s tagline was, “I’m on a spiritual journey and still flying first class.” Yes, there’s been over 100 Real Housewives seasons, and who knows how many taglines. However, it’s surprising that no one caught this particularly egregious similarity.
Meredith Marks: “I’m known for my tub, and this year I’m bathing in glory”
There are a lot of reasons why Meredith is one of the greatest Real Housewives currently on Bravo. But taglines have never been her strong suit, and this year’s entry is particularly weak. Unfortunately, she gets last place in our ranking. Sorry Mer, someone had to be there.
Yes, one of her storylines this season revolves around bath bombs. However, referencing her love of baths yet again just feels stale and lazy. To put things in bath terms, the water is cold. Our fingers are all pruney. It’s time to get out of the tub already! Dry off, put on a cozy robe, and come up with something else.
TELL US – HOW WOULD YOU RANK THE RHOSLC SEASON 5 TAGLINES?
