Below Deck Season 11, Episode 5 Recap: Who’s Your Mummy?

Photo by: Fred Jagueneau/Bravo via Getty Images

Welcome back to Below Deck Season 11, Episode 5. In this week’s episode, called “Come On Eileen,” Barbie changes her perspective and promises to play nice. Jared gets support from the Captain, and the crew attends to some of the most vile charter guests ever. Xandi continues trying to train Cat to be a better stew, but it’s just not sinking in. Here are the highlights from Below Deck Season 11, Episode 5.

Barbie agrees to adjust her attitude

Photo: Fred Jagueneau/Bravo

When we left off last week, Fraser was having a face-off with Barbie at the bar on their night out. He’d just finished telling her she’d better change her attitude and start showing some respect for others (especially her boss) or she’d be on a plane home.

“I need you to understand,” Fraser tells her, “that if I’m like, ‘No, this is the way,’ that’s not personal.”

Finally, she tells him, “I get it. I want you to know I get it, okay? I’m a spoiled bitch who gets everything she wants all the f*cking time. And I need to get the f*ck over it. I need to grow up. Like, who do I think I am?”

“Babe, you’re amazing,” Fraser assures her.

“Barbie’s a spoiled brat,” he interviews, “but in yachting, work ethic and attitude [are] everything. She loves to say that she’s honest, and she just says it how it is, but that’s just not how life works. You need to filter.”

That settled, he tells her, “Let’s get drunk and have fun.”

“I swear, you’re going to see a whole change, okay?” she promises.

Good talk. We’ll see how it goes, especially with Cat.

Jared gets a pep talk

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Jared is frustrated that he hasn’t been able to get a cell signal. “I only get, like, two times a week to talk to my daughter,” he says. “I’m in jeopardy of losing all communication if I don’t … stick to the schedule … [I’m] trying to build trust again.”

The next morning, as Jared’s still trying to get a signal, Captain Kerry is talking to his daughter. Maybe Jared needs to switch providers? Maybe he needs to invest in a satellite phone.

Captain Kerry radios for Jared to come to the bridge. After updating him on the prep for the next charter, Jared shares his frustration with being unable to reach his daughter.

“Last night was particularly difficult for me,” he says. “I wasn’t able to speak to [her].”

As a father himself, Kerry can relate. “That sucks,” he sympathizes, as Jared apologizes for getting emotional. “Don’t be sorry for having an emotion, dude. I learned a few years ago that you need to get this stuff out. You’re stronger showing emotion than holding it.”

“When I was going through divorce, I couldn’t do my job,” Kerry says. “I tried many different methods of trying to get my sh*t together. Got rid of drinking. Started exercising. I started listening to self-help books. So, I can relate.”

“At any point, you need to [talk to] someone … just come and see me,” Kerry tells him. “Hitting the piss [alcohol] is not gonna help ya … Work through it. You’re the bosun of the boat. You’ve gotta hold yourself to a higher level.”

“He’s going through a tough spot,” Kerry interviews, “but when you’re head of department, you can’t have your head in the clouds … It affects your safety and the safety of the guests. You’ve gotta be focused on the job.”

Boat daddy

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Fraser meets with Captain Kerry on the bridge. “Hey, matey! What you got?” Kerry asks.

“A couple of things for you, sir,” Fraser starts. “Cat, I think she may be going through things outside of work, which I sympathize with. She’s been fragile since the beginning of the season. Tears most days, just so you know. That’s what we’re running with.”

Captain suggests that when Fraser sees she’s having a rough day, he could let her take half an hour to go to her cabin and catch her breath, if it’s possible.

“On that note, yesterday and the day before, I had a fantastic response from Barbie,” the Chief Stew continued. “She changed her perspective.”

“Barbie’s brilliant with guests,” Fraser interviews. “[She’s] on it and quick, but she doesn’t always have the best attitude towards people. However, Barbie said she’s going to turn things around and be better. Let’s have hope that she will.”

“The captain is brilliant,” Fraser tells Chef Anthony in the galley a few minutes later.

“I know, he’s a great captain,” Chef responds. “He’s doing an amazing job. He’s like our daddy.”

“Yeah,” Fraser agrees. “And guess who’s your mummy?”

“You are my mummy,” Chef says.

“That’s correct,” Fraser answers. LOL.

Plastic cups only, please

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Captain Kerry calls Fraser, Jared, and Anthony to a preference sheet meeting for the upcoming charter. “Please do not hand Tina [the primary] a champagne glass,” reads Kerry. “She prefers to drink out of a plastic cup.” How classy. Also wasteful. I guess people who live in Iowa don’t worry about filling our oceans with plastic.

Fraser agrees with me. “It’s stupid and psychotic to be asking for plastic for every single drink,” he says.

The madness continues, as Kerry continues to read, “Dislikes beef, pork, poultry, eggs, tofu … “ Omg, is the chef going to have to make her buttered noodles? What does this woman eat?

“She’s got a lot of problems, this woman,” Fraser comments. “Like, come on, babe. Enjoy life … She’s got a screw loose.”

Later that evening, Fraser meets with his interior crew. For the next charter, “Barbie, I’m going to have you on service,” he says. “Cat, I want you to work between departments. Xan, you’re phenomenal at housekeeping, but more importantly, I trust you. And I would be totally honored to have you as my second [stew], moving forward in this charter season.”

And with that, he pulls out a two-stripe epaulet and hands it to her.

“Honestly, I don’t need a stripe to prove my worth,” Xandi interviews. “And now this is going to cause more attention to me.”

And she’s not wrong. “Of course, he picked her to be second,” Barbie interviews, heavy on the eye rolls. “Xandi’s so far up Fraser’s ass, and I’m not going up there. Whatever … In my mind, I’m the second stew. This is all bullsh*t.” Whatever floats your boat, Barbie. Remember that “new attitude” you promised Fraser?

Drunk shaming

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When the guests arrive, Tina is pleased to see her welcome champagne in a plastic cup. Whatever. After the tour of the boat, Fraser double checks her preferences. Looks like she’s a pescatarian (fish only). No meat, no eggs, no tofu.

“It doesn’t look like Tina likes anything at all,” Fraser interviews. “She doesn’t like smiling. She just doesn’t like much. But I will do my best to deal with it.”

Tina is the high-maintenance primary. Her husband is Rich. They’re traveling with Tina’s business partner Mike and his wife Eileen. Rich and Eileen are like oil and water. For some reason, she irritates him, and they bicker constantly. Tina says it’s because they’re both the same person. They’re basically “twins.”

When Eileen, who “likes to drink,” struggles to speak, Rich teases, “Eileen, do you have something on your mind?”

When Eileen clumsily tries to grab a piece of sushi with her chopsticks, and it falls back on her plate, Rich asks, “Eileen, do you have enough to drink?”

“I’ve had five, I’m good,” she answers. Wow. That’s why her motor functions aren’t working so well.

When the guests are leaving to go snorkeling, Ben asks, “How do you guys all know each other?”

Rich explains that his wife and Mike work together, “And Eileen’s just the local drunk that we’ve picked up.” Oh, that’s just mean. Rich is an asshole.

When they get in the tender to leave for their snorkeling trip, Eileen asks, “Where are we … What are we doing?” Sunny just spent ten minutes fitting her with fins, a snorkel, and a life jacket. Drink some water, Eileen. I know you’re on vacation, but wouldn’t you like to remember some of it?

Pudding provocation

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The night’s dessert is profiteroles with vanilla ice cream and chocolate sauce. Yum! Tina dives right in as soon as her plate hits the table. “It tastes like egg,” she says. “I hate it.”

“Did you taste it already?” Eileen asks.

“She did!” Beth says. “She didn’t wait for everybody. How rude!”

Everyone piles on Tina for not waiting for everyone to get their dessert. Okay, a little rude, but it’s chocolate (and there’s been a lot of alcohol consumed). I might have been tempted, too.

Though Tina explains she didn’t want her ice cream to melt, Beth keeps at it, “Tina, dude, wait! I can hardly wait to have a bite. I was waiting for everyone else, though. That’s kinda how I roll.” Do you want a medal, Beth?

“If you’re a polite person,” Eileen slurs, “you wait until everyone has their … This is how we do it in the real world.”

Omg. It might have been a little hasty, but Tina is your hostess, people. Lighten up. Jeez Louise. It’s just ice cream in a puff pastry.

Finally, Tina’s had enough of the profiterole persecution. “I’m done,” she says, and she leaves the table.

“Nighty night, girl,” someone calls, sarcastically.

“Is Tina gone for the night?” Eileen asks Rich.

“As of right now, yeah,” her husband says, while Tina goes downstairs in tears.

Beth’s husband Rob followed Tina downstairs and gave her a hug. That was nice. None of her other friends (or her own husband) seem bothered that they hounded her out of the room. Nice friends.

Eileen has a near-death experience

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As Tina’s crying alone in her cabin, her husband Rich and all of their “friends” decide to take the party to the hot tub. That’s a great place for people who have already had too much to drink. Isn’t that kind of dangerous?

Barbie offers to bring everyone water, but Rich wants more alcohol. “Don’t make a trip without bringing everyone another drink … AND a water.”

Before she goes, she notices the bubbles are off and starts to turn them back on. “No, we’re good,” Rich says.

“Barbara, let’s go!” Eileen slurs. “I need a drink.” She wants another drink, and she wants it now.

“These guests are so rude,” Barbie says.”They’re lucky I can’t say what I would normally say.” It’s pretty ironic that they all ganged up on Tina for being “rude,” when they are just as rude.

And what I’ve been fearing all day finally happens. Eileen, at least ten or twelve sheets to the wind, slips on the wet deck next to the hot tub and bangs the crap out of her head. It must have made a heck of a noise because Barbie says, “What the f*ck?!” and runs upstairs. I’m surprised Eileen didn’t get a concussion.

After Eileen assures Barbie she’s okay, the stewardess sweetly offers to take Eileen back to her cabin, since she obviously doesn’t even know where she is. Barbie doesn’t want to risk her falling down the stairs and breaking her neck, so she carefully guides her back to her room. They should be taking her to see a doctor.

Below Deck continues Mondays at 9/8c on Bravo.