Real Housewives of New York alum Countess Luann De Lesseps released a new single titled “Marry F Kill” on March 22. The newest bop is the Countess’s 9th released single and features genius, groundbreaking lyrics such as, “There’s men that I would marry, they give me such a thrill, there’s men that I would F, and men that I would kill.” Bob Dylan who?
The release of Lu’s single has me reminiscing about the RHONY star’s past pop songs. I couldn’t help but ponder how “Marry F Kill” stacks up against her body of work, so I ranked them.
Here is every Countess Luann song ranked from worst to best:
F-Bombs on the G with the OG’s (Worst)
Lu’s 2021 song “F-Bombs on the G with the OG’s” bombed. The pop tune was inspired by Season 1 of Real Housewives: Ultimate Girls Trip and felt a little too on the nose. First of all, the song didn’t have verses and it barely had a chorus. It mostly consisted of Lu repeating the song title over and over again with an indistinguishable hip-hop beat behind her. Not her best work and we didn’t even get an iconic music video. It was just a b-roll of the show. Snooze!
What Do I Want for Christmas
“What Do I Want for Christmas” was underwhelming but the music video was fun. The Season 13 RHONY girls made an appearance and we got to watch Lu flirt with her pianist. Also, we loved seeing the stunning visuals of New York City around Christmas time. Overall, it was fine, but not her best.
Marry F Kill
The new single is a lot of fun but it pales in comparison compared to some of her earlier work. While we love seeing her take on this femme fatale role, the song itself is just okay.
Girl Code
Ah, yes, Luann’s diss track about Heather Thomson and Carole Radziwill. “Girl Code” was her response to Heather and Carole airing out her sexcapade with a mysterious naked man during a group trip to Turks and Caicos. She thought it was lame that the girls were so upset about her overnight guest and urged them to be cool, not uncool. While I love that the song references an iconic RHONY moment, we have a hard time believing Lu cares about girl code. All I remember is the Tom D’Agostino and Harry Dubin drama.
Feelin’ Jovani
Lu referenced another iconic RHONY moment with her 2019 song “Feelin’ Jovani.” In Season 10, Dorinda Medley heckled Lu during her cabaret show by calling out the name of the designer who made her friend’s dress for the show. She was upset that Lu didn’t give her credit for introducing her to the designer, so she decided to get even. Dorinda yelling, “JOVANI,” during the performance will always be iconic. Lu was initially upset about the whole ordeal but later decided to capitalize on the moment by releasing “Feelin’ Jovani.” I love this one. I would dance to it at the club. It’s solid.
Viva la Diva
“Viva la Diva” is to Luann what “Lucky” is to Britney Spears. It’s like a mix of RuPaul’s “Supermodel” and Shania Twain’s “Man! I Feel Like a Woman.” It’s so insane but it kind of works. I can’t help but stan.
Money Can’t Buy You Class
“Money Can’t Buy You Class” was Lu’s first single. She released it in 2010 and the world was never the same. She schooled us on the rules of etiquette and looked fabulous doing it. We’ll never forget the first time we heard, “You don’t have to be rich or famous to be unforgettable.” No notes.
Chic C’est La Vie (Best)
I had a hard time choosing between “Chic C’est La Vie” and “Money Can’t Buy You Class” but ultimately, C.C.L.V reigned supreme. The lyrics are just too iconic to not give it the top spot. I love the nods to the RHONY cast members and the sprinkling in of French. So chic. She honestly deserves a Grammy for giving us this timeless masterpiece.
Real Housewives of New York can be streamed on Bravo.
TELL US – DO YOU AGREE WITH OUR RANKINGS? WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE BEST COUNTESS LUANN SONG?
