Basketball Wives Recap: New Girl Versus New Girl – Round Two, Miami Edition



It’s like, if they aren’t causing drama, they would shrivel up and disappear (and would that really be so bad?)…that’s right, I am referring to the ladies of Basketball Wives.

Last night’s episode started where last week’s left off, as Shaunie has tried to separate a steaming Evelyn and a holier than thou Jenn. Evelyn has grand plans to go wait around the corner, pretending that she left, and jump Jenn when she leaves the restaurant. Someone is taking a page right out of the Love & Hip Hop playbook, isn’t she? Oh, Kenya. Kenya, Kenya, Kenya. She intervenes in hopes a story about her best friend from fifth grade will calm Evelyn, much to Tami’s chagrin. Tami is sure that Evelyn doesn’t want to hear Kenya’s nonsense. While Kenya agrees, she keeps talking anyway. Tami found the whole party very entertaining, even if it wasn’t what Shaunie had hoped.

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Suzie goes to Jenn’s for some herbal tea and the two dissect the prior evening’s drama. Suzie wants Evelyn and Jenn to try to discuss things, and Jenn isn’t totally opposed to being civil with her, as long as Evelyn’s not carrying a clutch. All Jenn wants to focus on is getting through her divorce. Suzie then goes to lunch with Evelyn, but she doesn’t want to discuss Jenn, she wants to talk about how Evelyn and Tami treated Kesha at the last dinner in New York. Suzie hopes that Evelyn will talk to Kesha, because Kesha is just totally unstable since the smackdown. She’s been getting cold sores, y’all! Evelyn agrees to meet with her, but she isn’t too happy to hear that Kesha felt disrespected by the ladies. Evelyn was keeping it one hundred. Yes, that’s right, she was keeping it one hundred. Who says that? I smell a t-shirt slogan! Just bring back “keepin’ it real” and call it a day, Ev.

Royce and Suzie arrive at Kesha’s to cook a family dinner. Royce finds the stories of Jenn getting hit by the clutch purse hilarious, and Suzie fills in the holes that the other ladies hadn’t heard through the rumor mill. Kesha can’t believe the craziness that the ladies partake in on a regular basis. It’s at that point that Kesha learns from Suzie that Evelyn is willing to meet up to clear the air. Kesha hopes “clear the air” isn’t code for “beat down a bitty with Canal Street knock-off Gucci bag.”

The Bullying Duo are getting ready to ambush Kenya. Apparently, Kenya was doing a radio interview where the deejays said some pretty accurate mean things about Tami and Evelyn. Tami is super angry, because all Kenya did was sit by and laugh. In fact, Tami isn’t even mad at the people who were saying the nasty things, she’s just mad at Kenya for not sticking up for them. Evelyn also wants to know if Kenya comforted Kesha after the ill-fated NYC dinner. Heck, no she didn’t! Kenya NEVER told Kesha things between them were cool. Does she not get the concept of a reality show? You’re being filmed, Kenya…they can find out if you’re lying! Both Evelyn and Tami are confused. Who is the liar? Who is stirring the pot behind everyone’s back? Geez, could it be…all of them?

Suzie, Jenn, and Kesha meet to “play” tennis. Wimbledon called – it asked you all to please never set foot on a tennis court again. Kesha questions Jenn about clutgh-gate twenty-twelve, and Jenn encourages Kesha to speak with Evelyn and work on their differences. Jenn seems to be pretty neutral and doesn’t have much to say about Evelyn. However, she does see a potential friendship between herself and Kesha.

Sensing tension between the newbies, Royce meets Kenya for a drink to find out the scoop. Kenya finds Kesha to be very unprofessional, and she’s knows a thing or two about professionalism. Kenya tells Royce that she’s since been working with Tami and not had any issues. Um, is this woman delusional? I was really trying to give her the benefit of the doubt as the new castmate trying to figure out her place, but was she not present at her meeting with Tami? Gracious. Royce also calls out Kenya for laughing at Tami’s verbal beatdown on Kesha. I think we’ve pretty much established whose a$$ Kenya is kissing. Royce and Kesha take a Zumba class (because there are only so many fake lunches these women can have), and Kesha fills her in on tennis with Jenn and her upcoming meeting with Evelyn.

Evelyn and Kesha meet up (what else would they do?) for drinks. Surprisingly, Evelyn approaches the situation calmly, as it seems that she wants an ally in her “Kenya is Cuckoo” campaign. Evelyn hopes some of the women will meet (of course they will!) to get to the bottom of things with Kenya, and she promises to be in Kesha’s corner. Kesha is willing to speak her mind, but she refuses to yell over anyone. Could she be the only slightly normal person on this show? The following day, Evelyn and Tami go on a walk, and Evelyn reveals that she likes Kesha. Sidebar, Tami is wearing a tank top that says #GTFOH. What is it with these ladies thinking every crude and angry thing they say belongs on an item of clothing. Anyhoo, Tami isn’t sure which newbie is telling the truth, but she trusts Evelyn’s judgement and is ready for group powwow.

Tami, Evelyn, Suzie, and the newbies converge for sunbathing, cocktails, and watching Kenya and Kesha yank out each other’s faux hair mediation. Suzie is quick to apologize again for her food stamps comment to Tami. Evelyn wants to table that discussion because it’s too fresh, and besides, it takes away from the main event: newbie versus newbie.

Kesha begins her diplomatic speech, and Kenya starts interrupting, calling Kesha a fake liar. Kenya is talking in circles, and Tami seems to think that perhaps Kenya hasn’t been totally truthful with her. However, Tami is extremely entertained when Kenya does what she Tami calls “the ultimate black move” and removes her shoes. Kesha walks off, not wanting to get a heel to her temple. When she returns, she fears she must fight fire with fire and tells Evelyn and Tami the things that Kenya has said about them. Tami is laughing, and Evelyn is pissed. I love that Kenya sticks around after Kesha leaves to get back in the women’s good graces. Seriously?

Next week, Kenya admits to Evelyn that maybe, she kind of referenced her being loose. Evelyn has someone new on her radar, luckily for Jenn. At a nice dinner (where else?) she goes guns blazing after Kenya, trying to hit her over the head with a wine bottle. Who ARE these people?

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? IS KENYA LYING OR JUST SO DESPERATE TO BE LIKED? COMMENTS ON TAMI CHANGING HER TUNE ABOUT KESHA AS SOON AS EVELYN DID? WERE YOU AS CONFUSED AS I WAS ABOUT WHAT EXACTLY KENYA WAS LYING ABOUT?

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