Basketball Wives Recap: New Girl Versus New Girl

Last night’s Basketball Wives was, per the usual, a hot mess of hating on the new girls, horrific dancing, and bad behavior at a charity event. Hmmm, was it a rerun?

The episode begins in Miami, with Evelyn coming over to Tami’s house to visit. Evelyn is so over the infidelity rumors, and Tami totally understands the lifestyle of an athlete, but that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s cheating on her. She advises her friend to ignore all the press. Evelyn has tried to tell Chad that the rumors don’t just affect their relationship, they affect their children. Tami is convinced the pair will be happily married in no time.

Evelyn takes the red-eye to New York to meet the new girls with Suzie. Evelyn is keen on Kesha’s style, but she is questioning Kenya’s weave. Kesha can’t get over Suzie’s constant penis references. For Suzie, Evelyn brings up Kenya’s Youtube videos. Evelyn is impressed that Kenya is open to taking down the videos, after hearing that they aren’t sexy or good. Evelyn feels a tad (just a tad) badly about bringing the videos’ suckiness to Kenya’s attention.

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Kenya is auditioning dancers for her new video. Royce and Kesha arrive, but they are instantly put out by Kenya’s lack of knowledge about the whole hip hop video world. Kenya tries to explain her passion, drive, and heartache to the people who are helping her choose dancers. She’s in tears. Royce and Kesha take the opportunity in their interviews to make fun of Kenya. They both think it’s disrespectful that Kenya mentioned Kesha’s prior criticism of her video. The new girls are not biffles.

Tami, Royce, and Kesha are meeting for lunch, presumably to bash some more on Kenya. Poor girl. Granted her YouTube videos were atrocious, but give the women a break. She’s admitted multiple times that she has no clue what she’s doing and just needs some help. Tami is onboard with the Kenya hate. Kesha hopes that Tami will support a fundraiser for her friend who is suffering from cancer. Tami is happy to attend, and the conversation quickly turns to Tami’s daughters’ dancing ability. In Tami’s opinion, they cannot dance for shiz. She asks Royce to help improve their skills. Now it’s Kesha’s turn to be insulted. Doesn’t Tami realize that she has a B.A. in dance?

Evelyn is treating her sister Sylvia to a spa day. She wants to pamper her sister who is dealing with her husband’s cancer. Evelyn is shocked to learn that her sister hasn’t had her nails done in over a month. Gracious! Evelyn has a weekly manicure appointment. At least Sylvia has kept her nails somewhat presentable. I feel like I am in an alternate universe. Evelyn is sad because she is really concerned her brother-in-law won’t be at her wedding. While, I know she means very well, it sounds like it’s more about her wedding, not her sister’s day-to-day suffering, while taking care of a very sick husband.

Royce is working with a charity to help spread awareness and enlist more minority bone marrow donors. She happily agrees to host an event for the cause.

Tami and Evelyn bring Shaunie to dinner to meet the newbies. Shaunie is quick to sarcastically say she’s willing to give everyone a chance. Kesha doesn’t really want to be around Kenya after her speech at the auditions. Kesha quickly throws Kenya under the bus, and the veteran “wives” find the tension between them hilarious. Kenya calls Kesha “apple pie face” claiming it’s a term of endearment like “boo” or “sweetie.” The other women are clearly team Kesha…and I’m betting that they probably were before really knowing the new girls. Evelyn and Tami jump into the fray defending Kesha. Poor Kenya tries to play the four against one, but it’s like she’s in quicksand. Kenya tries to defend herself, but after a few beers, Tami can’t understand a word she’s staying. Producer Shaunie jumps in to share her two cents. She’s such a mediator. Yeah, that’s it.

Kenya seeks Tami’s advice about her music career away from the other ladies. It’s the perfect attempt at brown-nosing, and Tami is happy to dole out her wealth of knowledge. Tami is hesitant, but seems to soften to Kenya. Nothing like feeling more important than you are to make you second guess your initial reaction to someone.

Suzie heads to Royce’s charity event and is happy for two reasons: one, open bar; and two, Kesha doesn’t like Kenya. Suzie thinks Kenya is “so weird” and was starting to think twice about Kesha for being presumed besties with a weirdo. Royce is tearful while giving out awards to those who have been active in the charity. Suzie is being loud about needing more alcohol to get through such a boring event. Kenya tries to reign her in, to no avail. Even Kesha is mortified. Shame on you, Suzie.

Tami has assembled her team to meet with Kenya, but Kenya is late. Strike one. Strike two occurs when Kenya doesn’t have print photos. Her pics are only on a flash drive. She is admittedly unprepared, carrying around some portable CD player. Tami puts her on blast about her unprofessionalism. Kenya is a bit flustered, but I can guarantee she wouldn’t make it through one episode with the cast of Love & Hip Hop with this behavior. She’s clueless.

One of the panel members asks her to dance, and she isn’t wearing the proper clothing…or so she says. Kenya then proves that she is either wearing the wrong clothing or is a hot mess when it comes to busting a move. She expresses how much she needs to learn, and how she hopes that Tami and her crew can teach her. Wow. That was something else.

Tami reveals in therapy that she’s been raped twice, held at gunpoint for days, and been in abusive relationships with men she believed loved her. It’s truly sad to watch, and it gives a little insight into Tami’s tough exterior. She is hoping that counseling will help her manage her temper and her urge to fight first and ask questions later. I have to give Tami some major respect for trying to better herself and get help with her issues.

Next week, Suzie goes to an event with the absent Jennifer, but is disappointed that Tami and Shaunie aren’t in attendance. How is she expected to social climb if her ladder rungs aren’t around? Tami starts to question Kesha’s sincerity, and antagonizes her over dinner. A preview of the season shows reveals Evelyn’s stellar fighting skills.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? TEAM KENYA? TEAM KESHA? TEAM NEITHER? WHAT IS UP WITH SUZIE’S BEHAVIOR THIS SEASON?

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