Love & Hip Hop Hollywood Recap: Girl Power? Not.

Do y’all know how frustrating it is to talk to AT&T technical support to complain about spotty internet and cable, explaining I need it for work, only to have the technician (who is in a time zone 12 hours ahead) that I shouldn’t be working so late? Is that the point, ma’am? Gahhh, the things I do for Love & Hip Hop Hollywood. Of course, I don’t want to miss a second of Soulja Boy’s antics, but it’s my job. The people have a right to know how whiny Ray-J is at any given minute and just how shady Teairra Mari is being to her “friends.” Enter Hazel-E. We all know the history between these ladies is complicated, but I believe that Teairra always holds the upper hand. Hazel gets her former roommate to concede to an inappropriate relationship with Berg where her music was concerned, there was no knee bending in a back alley. Win-win?

Ray is meeting with newbie Brandi (not his sister, I repeat, not his sister). She’s Whitney Houston’s goddaughter, and her husband Max Lux is a big time producer. If you forget that halfway through the episode, she’ll remind you again. Ray complains about the new found friendship between Princess and Teairra, and Ray makes the mistake of saying he’s going to working with Max on some “music.” Brandi is fully aware what it means for Max and Ray to work together….side chicks. 

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Soulja is shooting a new video and he’s interrupted by Nas. He doesn’t get why it’s so hard for Nas to understand the difference between sex and a relationship. She feels they were hot and heavy, but Soulja counters that he was just hooking up with Nas while he’s now with Nia. Did he just accuse her of fake a pregnancy? Hopefully we’ll revisit that little gem! Nas is basically begging Soulja to choose her, and he apologizes “my bad” for any confusion. What a guy, what a guy.

Lil’ Fizz is loving the single life, and he’s playing the field with a few different ladies. he stops by a photo shoot to retrieve his key from his latest paramour Kamiah. He let her crash at his house while he was out of town, and she is clearly smitten. They’ve been spending so much time together, and she’s even met his mother. Fizz isn’t very good at letting Kamiah know that he’s got other ladies in his call log and wants to keep it casual. I’m sure it won’t be an issue going forward though. Yeah, right!

We’re once again introduced to Brandi (not the sister Ray clings to) who makes it clear that she is the wife (not the girlfriend, sidechick, friend, THOT) of producer Max Lux. He has worked with several famous musicians, but dealing with his crazy wife is his most difficult task. When Brandi asks if girls will be at the studio while he’s working, Max reminds her that part of his job is to stay out all night. Max tells her she’s come a long way from bugging his car, hiding in his trunk, and breaking into the studio disguised as a pizza delivery person. Could this chick make Moniece seem super sane? Sure, he’s cheated in the past, but now he’s on the straight and narrow. Brandi isn’t worried about her husband…she only has issues with the Thirsty Beckys who want to bed him. After the drama at Nas’ boot camp, Apryl is lunching with friend Shanda and Nia. According to Nia, Nas is just trying to become famous on Soulja’s coattails, but Apryl interjects that they are all in a certain lifestyle. Nia doesn’t care. Sure, Soulja may have hooked up with Nas in the past, but at the end of the day, he comes home to her. These girls need to be giving seminars on self-esteem. 

Hazel E and Milan are practicing some retail therapy to assist with the angst in their current relationships. Milan is still hesitant of Hazel pursuing a renewed friendship with Teairra. Fool her once, shame on Teairra, fool her umpteen times, and Hazel’s got her story line for next season. The conversation turns to Milan’s problems with Miles. He understands how scary it is to come out as gay in this industry…heck, he used to use Hazel as his beard. Milan’s concern is that Miles may be dealing with more than fear of coming out…could he be cheating? Hazel warns her friend that if he goes looking for something, he’s likely to find it. Meanwhile, Fizz returns to his house, he learns that Kamiah isn’t just a model, she’s an interior decorator. His furniture has been moved around to accommodate hers, she’s taken over half of his closet, and her feminine products are in his bathroom. How casual is that? 

After dishing about Nas’ behavior with Apryl and Shanda, Nia has invited her former friend for a showdown. Nas wonders why Nia didn’t mention she was back with Soulja. Both girls accuse the other of sleeping with past boyfriends, and Nas drops a bomb that she was recently living with Soulja. Nia wouldn’t know this because she’s not Miss Clio. I wish Miss Clio would predict how many times Soulja will continue to mess with these girls in the future. Nia and Nas trade insults for slaps before being pulled apart, each vowing they are Soulja’s one true love. Bless their hearts. 

Surprise, surprise, Nikki is friends with Brandi. They are searching for fabric for Nikki’s lingerie line that she can’t wait to model for her fans and potential buyers. When Nikki urges Brandi to use her line to entice her husband, but Max doesn’t deserve it. Brandi reveals that she found her son playing with her husband’s wedding band, so Max was ringless heading to the studio. Groupies are far more likely to pounce on her man if they don’t know he’s married. Yes, that’s the problem…because Max can’t tell them he’s taken. The women hatch a plan to do some spying to Brandi can lay her suspicions to rest.

Fizz is taking out his aggression regarding his new roommate at the gym with Omarion and his friend Willie. The married gents give their advice, but Fizz likes having options. He rehashes Kamiah taking over his house, and Omarion finds it hilarious that Fizz is mad after admitting he offered up a couple drawers at his crib. Obviously, their lines of communication were crossed, and Omarion urges him to have a real chat with his new girlfriend. Ha! Across town, Milan is hurt that Miles has been so absent–Miles didn’t even call to see how things went with his oral surgery! Miles claims he was at the studio, but Milan accuses him of lying and cheating. Miles denies the allegations, but he’s very defensive. Miles isn’t cheating, but he is lying…he wasn’t at the studio, but he was hanging out with his ex-girlfriend Amber. The pair argues about Miles’ refusal to go public with their relationship (he knows this is being filmed, right? So this fight is a moot point…), and Miles storms out of Milan’s apartment. 

Taking the counsel of his pals, Fizz is taking Kamiah rock-climbing to have a conversation about their relationship status. He’s using restaurant analogies to tell Kamiah she’s an appetizer, but as a single guy, he’s not ready to order the main course. She’s confused…he invited her to stay at his house, he introduced her to his mother and son. Kamiah isn’t willing to sit around while he peruses the menu. She’s done. Unable to walk away from bad situations, Brandi and Nikki are prepared to execute their master plan to spy on Max. Brandi hopes her instincts will be proven wrong. Nikki buzzes the studio, claiming she had a session earlier and just needs to grab the phone charger she inadvertently forgot. Please, please, please just let her into the building for a quick second, she coos. There is a bit of a dance party happening with Max and his “musicians,” and she busts in to find a woman with her arm wrapped around her husband. Oh no she didn’t!

 TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? IS FIZZ SENDING MIXED MESSAGES ABOUT HIS DINING HABITS? 😉 

[Photo Credit: VH1]