And we're back with the second dose of Basketball Wives LA Reunion madness. I don't know if you're considering it a Christmas miracle to get two recaps back to back or if you're wondering how naughty you must have been this year to deserve two helpings of this madness in one day. I hope it's the former. 🙂 Let's check in with John Salley and his purple plaid, shall we?
John is back with his smug smile which is perfectly accentuated by Laura Govan, Jackie Christie, Malaysia Pargo, Brooke Bailey, Gloria Govan, Bambi, and Draya Michele. The women's chesticular areas are still front and center. Can you imagine another way? No? Me either.
We return with the ladies holding up their cards sharing who should exit stage left from the show next season. You have captivated me, John Salley, that is for sure! Laura and Jackie's duel is in full force, and I adore that John has finally stood up so that we could regale his attire in all it's Urkel glory. Who is styling these folks? Getting back to the situation at hand, the majority of the women are ready to get rid of the Sisters Govan and Bambi for next season. Most of the women believe that Gloria is too snooty for the show. Jackie calls out herself…just to play the martyr. She was concerned that most of the women would pick her (they didn't). Jackie says that even though no one may want her back, she'll be back regardless.
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Since John's little experiment backfires, he decides to enlist audience participation. He asks the crowd to clap when he calls out the name of a cast member. Applaud if they should leave, and be quiet if they should stay…simple enough, right? Draya and Malaysia are met with silence (I guess that is good for their future bank accounts). Brooke gets a small applause and quickly shoots the audience the bird. Laura basically receives a standing ovation, and boy is she smug with those Cleopatra bangs. Bambi is met with silence (that's good!), and Jackie is met with minimal clapping. Gloria, like her sister, almost gets clapped off the stage.
When a viewer talks smack about the ladies' multiple fashion lines, Draya comes out with guns blazing. Gloria attributes all haters to being secret fans. Obviously these idiots are sill watching the show. Bambi interrupts to make fun of Gloria's webisodes. Breaking away from the drama on stage, John focuses in on Jackie's most recent wedding to Doug. At the gay club. To benefit the gays. Except it didn't. While I appreciate her sentiment, her vow renewal, in my opinion, wasn't doing much to support same sex marriage. I do have to laud how passionate Jackie is about the subject.
John touts about how much the ladies are discussed in social media. He talks about the rumors that only Jackie and Draya will return for the following season. Each woman explains that she hasn't received her pink slip from VH1. Jonesy, a blogger from Bossip.com, joins the cast via satellite to ask her own questions. Listen, VH1, if you don't have enough reunion footage to go for two hours without bringing in some random writer (she's not random, I follow her), then just give us one juicy hour. This is boring. Draya talks about her lady loving, while Malaysia reveals why she brought Bambi on the show. Bambi wants to be loyal to Malaysia and hopes that Malaysia won't fall victim to Laura's betrayal. Am I crazy, or would Bossip be able to get a ton of exclusive interviews out of this debacle if the site wasn't front and center on the reunion? Are the women going to making lanyards next? Bake cookies? This reunion didn't need two hours…and yet we still have thirty plus minutes left.
Footage is shown of Jackie ambushing her daughters with a therapist. We all know how well that worked! Jackie, of course, didn't want to shoulder any of the blame for the broken relationships with her girls. She hems and haws about how Laura manipulated her daughter, and her daughter wanted to be present to confront Laura…or at least that's what I get from Jackie minus all of the bleeps. I'll be honest, as crazy as I think Jackie is, I don't think that Laura should have ever met with Jackie's daughter. Laura tries to explain why she was so do-or-die about taking down Jackie. Jackie remains quiet, but I secretly hope she's just waiting to pounce. Oh, what a difference a season makes! Laura chats about her diabolical plan to bring down Jackie, and Jackie reminds Laura that she has never been anything but a friend to her. Jackie appears to accept Laura's half-a$$ed apology, although Laura doesn't seem to want to accept Jackie's acceptance of said half-a$$ed apology. Laura's plight to be evil that was shut down by Jackie's daughter has changed her life.
We get another blogger from YBF, and the women are asked who they would switch out for the Miami cast. Gloria reveals that she would only keep her sister and Brooke. Other women request a Govan trade for a wine bottle thrower. I am so tired of this game show. If you can't fill two hours worth of drama, then just have a one hour reunion. Geez. It seems that the majority of the women would like to have Evelyn Lozada as a cast mate. They must have great insurance!
John shows video clips from the ladies final trip to New Orleans. I think the Big Easy is still recovering. Laura and Malaysia spar about their intentions when visiting Jackie in Seattle. Bambi has Malaysia's back. John reminds us of that fateful and totally scripted trip to NoLa. Please give the viewers just a tad bit of credit. Or not. Fight footage, crying, and Malaysia playing peace maker for the eighty-seventy time, and you're caught up with the drama of the reunion. Remember how Draya and Brooke made amends on the first half of the reunion? That's faltering. As the show draws to a close, Jackie compliments each of her cast members, and Draya needs to get the last word with Laura in defense of Jackie. And scene? John peaces out over the shouting. Of course he does…
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF PART TWO OF THE REUNION? WAS IT NECESSARY?
[Photo Credit: VH1]
