Welcome back to The Valley Episode 9 recap, “The Big Bear Bombshell.” In last week’s episode, fans watched as the agent of chaos, Janet, decided to invite everyone but Zack and Kristen to her baby moon. Naturally, Zack was upset because he hadn’t done anything to deserve Janet’s wrath except be friends with Crazy Kristen. The episode also showed Brittany and Jax at one another’s throats, giving insight into their split. Brittany was tired of feeling under-appreciated and picked on, leaving their relationship in a tailspin. Here’s everything that went down in The Valley Episode 9…
James Mae madness
Picking up at Kristen’s James Mae relaunch, Zack is trying to keep his emotions in check even though he is hurt by Janet’s decision. Zack expresses his frustrations by noting, “I thought we were in a good place. I’ve defended Janet’s a thousand times over.” The entire group agreed with Zack’s opinion and seemed to back him up.
In a confessional, Zack explodes, sharing, “You want to talk about mean girl behavior. Janet is a high-key mean girl. Not just low, high, low, she’s medium every type of a mean girl there is. And she’s good at hiding it.” Brittany came to Janet’s defense, telling Zack he should call her because she is all about “talking to the source.” The comment felt rich, especially because Jax, Britt’s hubby, delivered the devastating news and was very happy to do so.
Out of nowhere, Jasmine spots Simon, Janet’s secret service agent. The former Jets cheerleader quickly asks, “Simon, what are you doing? Are you recording?” Simon, who is clearly flustered, replies, “I’m just texting Janet about what is going on.” Yikes! Jasmine dismisses Simon, who runs away with his pink Crocs between his legs, still typing away to his mistress. Jasmine notes, “Now we have Harriet the Spy reporting back. If Janet put him up to this, that’s messy as hell.” The whole interaction was weird.
New guru, who dis?
Amidst the fashion drama, Jesse returns from his spiritual awakening looking like a Swami as if he has mastered the passions after one trip on Ayahuasca. He returns home and goes into Michelle’s arms, who actually seems happy to see him. Their embrace is long, and for a second, I almost feel like they love each other.
As he inhales the smell of her hair deeply, Jesse shares in his confessional that he goes into “every situation whether its a therapist, coach, how can I manipulate this? And things were happening to me, and I was like, ‘Okay, I accept it.’ That’s not my personality.” Like Michelle, I was a little freaked out at how calm Jesse was, but did the mediation getaway work?
Jesse then went on to explain that “everyone turned to energy, and I saw a demon.” Please count me out for his next Ayahuasca trip. Jesse sounded a bit kooky as he shared that he “died. Literally died. Once I had some apple juice in me, I realized it was all beautiful.” Cue Michelle actually yawning during his story, and the mood was broken.
As Jesse revealed that it was an “ego death,” Michelle quipped, “An ego that bad is really hard to kill.” Jesus – I mean, she wants the marriage to be over, right?
Harriet reports back
I don’t know who Simon is, but he is doing all the dirty work for Janet. He pops over with some pastries and piping hot tea. Simon made some sense by telling Janet that both Zack and Kristen felt “so triggered by not being invited.” At this moment, it is clear to me that Janet knows precisely what she is doing.
Janet takes to her confessional, sharing, “Kristen cries a lot. It doesn’t take much. But it’s not really working because I see right through it.” Janet then proceeded to call Zack, but that didn’t go well. Zack has every reason to be upset, but Janet felt he was coming in too hot for “someone who is expecting an invitation.” That conversation ended on a bizarre note.
Big Bear brawl
On their first day at Big Bear, the group gets slathered, with Jesse drinking almost a whole bottle of Tequila. The Boston native went rogue as he play-fought Danny and Michelle. But things got a little too serious when he appeared to whack his wife in the nose only a year after her plastic surgery.
The hits kept coming as Jesse and Danny found themselves in a tit-for-tat. The newly-calm Jesse tells the cameras, “Danny is the most sensitive man” he has ever met. Usually, the child actor can take things in stride, but he loses his cool during the car ride back to the house.
Then, the truth finally comes out. Jax sits down with Michelle to clear his conscience about the rumors going around. To everyone’s surprise, Michelle kind of comes clean, stating, “I did tell her, ‘Oh, I met this celebrity.’ And I was texting with him, and I had coffee with him one morning.”
Jax then drives the nail home, revealing Kristen stated Michelle had sent sexy photos. In a mic drop move, Michelle answers, “She is right. I have texted multiple people.”
The Valley continues Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE VALLEY EPISODE 9? DO YOU THINK MICHELLE IS TELLING THE TRUTH? IS JAX BEING MEAN TO BRITTANY?
