Welcome back for our The Valley Episode 7 recap, “The #1 Gossip of the Group.” In last week’s episode, Zack was pushed against a hallway wall while Jesse had a go at Kristen for bringing up rumors about his marriage. Michelle didn’t exactly deny that she wasn’t in love with her husband anymore, but she let the Boston native do the talking. The last five minutes were all-consuming, and dare I say, I had blacked out from the rest of the episode.
Everyone vs. Kristen
Janet hasn’t done much for me in the last few episodes, but she was spot-on noting about Capri Chaos saying, “I want to get through one meal. I’m hungry.”
Kristen is continuously bringing up the rumor, and Jesse has clearly caught on, which makes sense as to why he is getting so worked up. In a game of telephone, Kristen mucked it all up again. During the fight, she noted that Jesse was going to leave Michelle in the next few months, but Michelle was the one planning on hitting the road.
I’m Team Jesse over here, and we learned that he doesn’t believe in divorce. The father of one shared that “we made a commitment to each other, and that’s a big deal for me.” Michelle and Jesse made a final stand, sharing that if there are group outings, the group has to pick between “Crazy Kristen” or them. Clearly, there is a hard line in the sand.
Jax feels left out, and Jesse is spiraling
Thankfully, we still have Jax as comic relief. As the fight raged on, he joked, “I don’t know what to do with myself if I’m not involved in a conversation. It’s really weird.” But the group could take a page from Nia, who knows how to bow out, thanks to her leaky boobs. We need to protect Nia at all costs!
The morning after, Jesse does not feel too confident in himself. The couple agree to present a united front, blaming Kristen for being a pathological liar. Jesse believes that these fights are bringing him and his wife closer, but Michelle’s face says otherwise.
My heart went out to the guy, as he shared that his wife had started acting differently. In his confessional, Jesse revealed, “She used to yell at me when we first started dating if I put my cell phone face down, and then all of a sudden, she starts putting her cell phone face down.” It got worse as Jesse continued.
He noted, “For years, she wouldn’t go out and have a margarita without doing a Boomerang, and all of sudden, no more posting. Her thing was, ‘Well, sometimes I just like to take a break from social media.’ Bullsh*t, she never took a break from social media. Ever.” The change in Michelle’s phone habits was slight, but for Jesse, it has been noticeable.
Kristen’s fertility journey
For six months, Kristen and Luke have been having unprotected sex, so she is confused as to why she isn’t “Fertile Myrtle.” Fans learn that Kristen has 5-10 follicles at the age of 40.
With all the drama with the others, it was nice to see Kristen be a bit vulnerable because there is no doubt her feelings are resonating with some viewers. However, Luke held their relationship over Kristen’s head, threatening to walk away if she didn’t figure out how to communicate better with the group. Danger, danger, is all I can think of right now.
The biggest gossip in the group is Janet, hands down. She quit her job and became a full-time tea spiller, but she got to the bottom of the rumor. We can assume that Michelle did, in fact, confide in Kristen and Brittany about issues in her marriage. Even though Jax tries to act like it isn’t his place to say anything, he fails at dropping the bomb.
Jasmine revealed that Jax told her about the “protecting thing” Kristen kept insinuating about. Jax tried to get Jasmine to do his dirty work, but the plan backfired. It is clear that everyone believes Michelle is texting a man on the side, and Jesse has no idea. “Whether or not I know something, I’m not saying my friend’s business.” Case closed.
Date night from hell
I think Jax is trying his best to reconnect with Britanny. But the man took his wife to a tantric expert. While the thought was valid, Brittany definitely thought she was headed to a cute yoga class. According to Jax, sex is at the bottom of the list. Brittany shares that their sex life is “bad. Sex only twice in a year.” Brittany admits she isn’t feeling too confident within her postpartum baby body and worries Jax is turned off. Once again, I need to say B is a queen.
In her confessional, Brittany questions if her husband could be cheating. As fans collectively held their breath, Bravo flashed back to a few of Jax’s past indiscretions. Jax seems contrite, lamenting that he hopes this date “buys him a little time.” But Brittany sees right through it. He “doesn’t lift me up or make me feel good about myself.”
Their date night at the Mondrian went downhill fast as Brittany revealed she wanted to “Knock the fire out of him.” Jax questioned a second child and told his wife she wasn’t entitled to show her emotions. Fans will undoubtedly see their relationship tested as Jax makes one final jab, ensuring that dinner does not end with any bedtime fun. I guess it’s time to ask for a refund from the tantric sex guru, Jax.
The Valley continues Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE VALLEY EPISODE 7? SHOULD JAX LAY OFF BRITTANY? IS KRISTEN BEING ICED OUT MAKING YOU FEEL BAD FOR HER?
