Welcome back for our recap of The Valley Episode 2: “Tit for Tat.” Last week’s episode kicked off the latest Bravo spinoff with a bang, introducing some new, smiling faces. However, this week, those happy faces have turned into frowns, especially after Nia witnessed her husband being pantsed by Jax. Nia is still livid this week about the practical joke, but there is trouble elsewhere, too. Jesse gets himself into hot water after an altercation with Kristen and Luke. And Jax’s guy’s night comes to a screeching halt after he invites someone who is meant to catch Luke off guard.
Doute disaster
At the start of The Valley Episode 2, Jax and Kristen decide to meet up for a lady’s lunch situation after the father of one took it upon himself to blast Kristen for wanting to have a child with Luke. There is a high chance The Smokehouse Grill would go up in flames with these two prominent personalities, but it seems that first snacks are in order.
I don’t want to judge Jax’s qualifications when it comes to being a friend, but wouldn’t you think that a guy who has been friends with Kristen for 16 years would remember that she is a vegetarian?
But, I will say, Jax jumped right into the apology, claiming he didn’t mean to “corner” her at Janet’s birthday. For those who don’t recall, Jax was surprised that Kristen was even thinking of letting Luke impregnate her. Forget that it was none of his business; he made it his business, along with making everyone at the party uncomfortable.
Frankly, Kristen is saying what I think most women in the country are thinking, “Why are my guy friends saying, ‘I don’t really trust your decision about your own life, Kristen.'”
Kristen is paying a price
Yes, Kristen made mistakes with her ex, Alex. She sold her house and moved in with him, and they broke up several times before he kicked her out. But life happens, and last time I checked, Jax was not the poster child for great life decisions.
But things are looking up for Kristen, who claims that her and Luke’s communication is “stupid impeccable,” whatever that means. Jax makes it clear he doesn’t care how many kids Kristen wants; he just says that she and her new beau are not on the same page.
Honestly, I am blown away at this man’s audacity in claiming he knows which relationships in his friend group are thriving and which are not. According to the supposed #1 guy in the group, he is “pretty good at spotting a Kristen Doute disaster. I can spot it a mile away.”
Guys, I’m dead. My jaw is on the floor, and again, I am thanking my lucky stars that Jax is back on my small screen. No matter how much projection he indulges in.
Luke is forever
I will say Kristen might not have her finger on the pulse. She claimed that Luke would definitely be moving to LA, and she would be signing her own lease.
Jax went on to say he’s “seen a lot of guys like look come in and out of her life, and they leave, and they need therapy.” The former T-shirt entrepreneur wants her friends to treat Luke better because he isn’t going anywhere.
Kristen swears Luke is going to be forever, which means we only have one choice; to grab the popcorn and sit back.
Trouble in paradise
It is clear Michelle and Jesse are not okay even during a West Hollywood park day with their daughter. The two were extremely passive-aggressive about teaching their daughter to ride her bike. This whole scene gave the impression that the two love to fight, and this round is about their parenting styles.
I will say, Michelle gets the jabs in. My favorite had to be that she wasn’t aware Jesse had no patience. Sadly, Jesse hit the nail on the head, revealing in his confessional, “I’ve changed into somebody she doesn’t want.”
Also, a huge red flag for me is that Jesse doesn’t remember nipple-gate. After four minutes of hockey, the boys talk about how Jesse grabbed Kristen’s nipple at the birthday party. Instead of owning up, Jesse doubles down, saying a “nipple twister doesn’t seem like my style.” Really? It seems very much like your thing, Jesse.
Alex cometh
As Kristen said earlier in the episode, “Jax stumbled into a saint who is willing to deal with his bullsh*t. God bless Brittany.” And that couldn’t fit Jax more, especially when it comes to the explanation of boy’s night.
Luke finally found his backbone and decided to stand up to Jax after it became apparent he had invited Kristen’s ex to the bowling night. Is Jax the Don of the group? Because it sure feels like it! He tells Luke that he has “great motivation on this. I want you to be a part of the group.” Next thing we know, Luke will have to kiss his ring.
After Jax clarifies that he wants Luke and Alex to be friends, the Colorado native refutes the idea and states his case. Luke is being pretty great as he stands up for Kristen, yelling, “I have her back 100%.” Luke also notes that Kristen is still very triggered by her past relationship.
Even though Luke is new, he hits the nail on the head, explaining, “Jax knows her triggers. I don’t think this is something friends do to friends.” You’re right, Luke. Inviting a friend’s ex is not what a true comrade does.
The Valley continues Tuesdays at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THE VALLEY EPISODE 2? ARE YOU INVESTED IN THE LIVES OF BRAVO’S NEWEST COUPLES?
