Up until recently, Tom Sandoval was seen as the lesser of the evils among the men on Vanderpump Rules. He was a likable ally to the LGBTQI+ community. He also always stood up for the underdogs. At times, he even donned non-gender-affirming attire, including his infamous white nail polish and eyeliner.
Tom was woke, ya’ll.
Yet, none of Tom’s behaviors felt genuine. Instead, he came across as if he was just trying to make himself look good on air. Let’s be honest, it worked because when compared to Jax Taylor, Tom’s poor behaviors felt like nothing. This is because Tom went the quieter route, psychologically tearing down his cast mates, especially the women.
Truly, Tom’s ability to manipulate others’ perceptions was always lesser observed. In confrontations, Tom’s opponents exploded due to their lack of impulse control. When this happened, Tom came across as the guy trying to make things right, while his costars spiraled.
After his affair with Rachel Leviss, it’s almost like a switch was flipped. Those who saw these subtle signs over the years felt vindicated. Now, as the backlash continues to grow against the bar star, his manipulation tactics and his woke missteps on Bravo are being recalled.
Merriam-Webster defines “woke” as someone who is “aware of and actively attentive to important societal facts and issues (especially issues of racial and social justice). When you look on Wikipedia, it is further explained that “in the 2010s, it came to encompass a broader awareness of social inequalities such as racial injustice, sexism, and denial of LGBT rights.” Turns out then, Tom’s not as woke as he claims. Let us never mansplain, just explain, now.
Tom Doesn’t Treat Females as His Equals
When you’re woke, or at least woke-adjacent, you are supposed to see everyone as your equal. One poorly seen narrative within this antiquated world revolves around someone’s gender, race, and/or sexual preferences marking them as less important. If you’re woke, you are seeking to correct these stereotypes. Therefore, you can’t be fully woke while constantly diminishing women’s voices, as Tom has often done.
Whenever a woman factually corrects Tom, he resorts to diminishing their voices, letting them know just how wrong they are. Case in point, when Ariana Madix was trying to tell Tom that she faked having orgasms at the beginning of their relationship, Tom argued, “No you didn’t! I know!” Eh, what?
Tom gives off a “females are always wrong” vibe when it comes to conflicts where both sexes are involved. Katie Maloney, Lala Kent, and Stassi Schroeder have all found themselves in Tom’s crosshairs, and 99% of the time, they were the ones in the right. Instead of listening to these women’s voices, Tom always deflects, recalling unrelated events in which these women had failed, so that he can win.
We cheered in Season 10 when this was finally addressed. During a party, Ariana Madix asked Tom to not yell at all of the women in attendance. Here, James Kennedy quickly interjected, joking “Oh we’re not doing that today?” They all see that Tom is the opposite of woke when it comes to his treatment of females.
Tom Outed 2 Women’s Sexual Exploits
Sexuality is a personal, nuanced topic. If you’re trying to maintain higher levels of societal awareness, you would know that publicly outing someone’s sexuality and sexual exploits is a NO. Yet, Tom did this very thing. Even worse, he did it to Ariana.
While out with the guys, Tom revealed that Ariana and Lala had hooked up in the backseat of his car. After this, Ariana was pissed, and rightfully so. If either Ariana or Lala wanted to make their tryst public, they would have. Instead, Tom took their drunken, private exploits, using them to help him score points with the bros, proving that he isn’t woke.
Tom Weaponizes Women’s Mental Health
When VPR first began, Tom was dating Kristen Doute. They both cheated, so things fell apart between the pair. Before the Season 2 reunion though, Tom and Ariana had started dating. When Kristen tried to call out Tom for cheating on her with Ariana, Tom tried to frame Kristen’s claims at the reunion as her just being insane.
Fast forward to Season 10, with Tom’s affair with Rachel. He used this same playbook, saying that he couldn’t end things with Ariana, as her mental health at the time was too low to take on any additional blows. He then took it upon himself to disclose even more of Ariana’s personal information, sans her consent, via Howie Mandel‘s podcast.
One particularly horrific disclosure from Tom was his revelation that Ariana had threatened suicide over the idea of a break-up. “She said If you break up with me, you will effectively be ending my life,” he shared, grossly revealing Ariana’s depressive state. Weaponizing anyone’s struggles using their pain and their mental health, while attempting to play the role of the victim, is GROSS. Hey Tom, sometimes, things are fully your fault, but nice try, you woke joke.
Tom Doesn’t Even Understand Basic Woke Concepts
Women’s rights piss Tom off. But let’s start with the first part of a conversation that made us chuckle. When Tom was beginning one of his victim-like speeches, he stated, “As a cyst male…”
Ariana questioned his inaccurate spoken word, causing Tom to grow annoyed, as he had to explain what he meant. “Whatever it’s called,” he fussed, before adding “as a women you are allowed to raise your voice, yell, do whatever you feel entitled to do, but as a cyst, as a straight male…if I raise my voice, it’s wrong.” Two things here, Tom. First, the word you are looking for is cis, and second, really, Tom, you yell at women all of the time!
Even when purposely trying to be woke, Tom fails. At least many others now see this. But will Tom continue to get off easy in Season 11? Only time will tell.
TELL US – DO YOU THINK THAT TOM IS WOKE OR A JOKE?
