Never fear! We’re back for yet another week of Vanderpump Rules. Is the updated intro still a jump scare for anyone else?
Tonight marks the first time we see real suspicion about the relationship between Tom Sandoval and Raquel Leviss brewing amongst the cast. Katie Maloney accuses Tom of spending late nights at the Abbey with the group’s main mistress. This may be the first episode in the recorded herstory that we hear about each of Raquel’s “associations” with Tom Schwartz, Oliver Saunders, Peter Madrigal, James Kennedy, and Tom Sandoval separately.
Katie Sets A Boundary
Yay Katie! She’s finally ignoring Schwartz instead of literally chasing him across the border. She dropped by Tom’s new apartment to pick up her two pups for visitation. She elegantly dipped as soon as Tom started mentioning his employment woes. Tom was desperate for an emotional swaddle, so he called Sandoval to cope.
Later, Katie paid Sandoval and Ariana Madix a visit to talk sandwiches. They discussed Katie’s earlier interaction with Schwartz. Tom expressed that he thinks Katie is being too petty about the kiss with Raquel during Scheana Shay’s wedding. Too bad no one asked him. Katie responded with her classic slut-shaming comments, but Ariana defended Raquel! It’s painful!
At this moment, Ariana did her best to argue that Raquel isn’t a whore because she doesn’t get paid to have sex. She only keeps her proximity to the VPR cast like that, guys. That’s classy. Meanwhile, Tom’s eyes are darting all over the place trying to keep calm and carry on. Katie ended the scene saying she hopes “God has mercy” on the soul of whoever hooks up with Raquel next. She’s a better woman than I.
C U Next Tuesday
James wastes no time in telling Lisa Vanderpump about the Schwartz and Raquel hook-up from the wedding. James mentions that Raquel has essentially hooked up with every man at SUR. He asked, “Who’s next” just before the camera flashed to Tom Sandoval.
We then cut to a scene of the Toms guzzling Bud Light and talking business with Liser. Raquel wandered over to take everyone’s order, and Sandoval demanded that she sit next to him so he can drool from close up. Never trust a nearsighted guy in polyester. Sandoval is scolded by Lisa for leering at Raquel. He recovered by telling Raquel everyone in the group thinks she’s a big ol’ whore. Totally normal behavior.
Rachel’s Swerve
She is bobbing and weaving through this season so far. Raquel’s first scene in this episode is shared with Charli Burnett. Charli expressed her disappointment in Raquel for her tryst with Schwartz. Charli thinks Raquel should be respecting the unhappy 12-year marriage Tom was in and stay away from Katie’s ex-man. Raquel assured Charli that nothing more will happen, but she forgot to mention it was because Tom isn’t interested. She does, however, remember to tell her about a date she has later with Oliver.
In her next scene, Rachel is at Scheana and Brock Davies’ place. She’s seen news online that Oliver may not have been separated from his wife during their Vegas make-out after all. As an aside, I’ve actually totally forgotten about this overly-produced storyline, which only gives more credence to #Scandoval. Brock encouraged Raquel to call Oliver’s wife, and she did! The two had what seemed like a nice discussion, and Rachel seemed ready to take Oliver on during her date later.
Once she’s at dinner, Rachel was quick to her point. She told Oliver that she called his wife and that he’s made them all look very stupid. Especially on social media. Rachel is adamant that Oliver’s apology does not make up for the bashing she’s receiving. She said she doesn’t ever want to be represented as a mistress because it’s “not who she is at all.” Tell that to Sandy’s pornstache.
Laler’s Birthday
It’s Lala’s birthday and she wants to have sex. Too bad all she’ll get is a reunion with her VPR 2.0 copy-paste, Raquel.
During Lala’s birthday, everyone gathered around to talk about the rumors of Oliver’s marriage. Scheana eventually left the table to meet Raquel outside. Rachel told Shi-Shu everything that happened on her date with Oliver. It’s a total girl power moment, and Scheana feels comfortable enough to invite Raquel in to see the other women.
At first sight, Lala greets Raquel, “What’s up mistress!?” Tom didn’t like the dragging Raquel is getting. But Katie was quick to remind him that he’s also had some late nights with Bambi. It’s a chilling moment, and one Andy Cohen promises we’ll see more of. Oh, and Tom was wearing his lightning bolt necklace. It’s insane.
Lala and Raquel decided to chat outside, and things went fine. Raquel was contrite, and used this moment to heal with Lala. She explained that she now understands how men can be liars and mislead women into thinking they’re single. Lala basically patted her on the head, and all seemed well.
Major Events That Paled In Comparison To This Episode
So there are a few moments that deserve their own mention, despite not captivating a whole chunk of this episode. Firstly, Katie is dating a man named Satchel Clendenin. His belts are way too long but it sounds like his d-ck works. So Mazel to our girl.
Secondly, ROSÉ THE PRIVATE JET FLYING MINI-HORSE PASSED AWAY IN THE BACK OF KEN’S CAR ON THE WAY TO THE VET. Rest in power, little angel.
The Toms still don’t have any hopes of opening their strip mall restaurant.
Finally, Ariana and Tom are filming scenes about freezing their embryos. It’s also worth mentioning that the scene was centered on Tom’s absolute reliance on drugs and alcohol to cope with the stress in his life. Peak bleak.
TELL US – WHAT WAS THE BIGGEST ICK YOU GOT FROM TOM IN THIS EPISODE? DO YOU HAVE THOUGHTS ON WHETHER RAQUEL SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IF OLIVER WAS FOR SURE SEPARATED OR NOT?
[Photo Credit: Tommy Garcia/Bravo]
