Bravo was once not saturated by all things Real Housewives. On any given day there was a wide variety of programming that didn’t stem from acting a fool at the dinner table. We currently have 836 shows spawned from the successful franchise.
Before everyone had a line of alcohol with their name on it, we had hair shows (I miss Tabatha Coffey!) to battling PTA moms, and so much more. Let’s take a look at a few programs that are gone, but certainly not forgotten. Do they deserve a second chance?
5. Blow Out
With a vocal fry that rivals only Kimberly Kardashian, celebrity hair guru, Jonathan Antin took his celebrity hair styling to television. Blow Out premiered on Bravo back in the Dark Ages of 2004 and it was a full mess. Jonathan was usually impeccably dressed in the finest early 2000’s boot cut jeans. His managerial style would require him to have several meetings with HR and take special classes these days. Fun fact: his brother is Steven Antin from Last American Virgin and his sister is Pussycat Dolls founder, Robin Antin. Blow Out centered around Jonathan Salon Beverly Hills and followed Jonathan and his mostly frightened crew, while he navigated numerous employees and opening other locations. He also released a fairly successful hair care line and promoted the hell out of it whilst on the show. But Blow Out Jonny blew it when he dissed Big Daddy Andy Cohen. Jonathan fired an employee during production because he didn’t take Jonathan’s shit, and Andy disagreed. Andy called him and basically said, ‘hey man we need 2 more episodes of this guy and you need to give us a heads up’ because, television. Needless to say, Jonathan didn’t listen to Big Daddy. Next thing you know, Tabatha Coffey entered the chat and Blow Out went bye-bye. People couldn’t handle Jonathan’s harsh attitude in those years, but now he would make the perfect cast mate on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. If you were an avid viewer, hopefully you have memories because this show is currently not available for streaming.
4. Euros of Hollywood
If you watched this show, please raise your hand and let’s be friends. I don’t even know how to properly describe Euros of Hollywood, but we hadn’t seen anything like it before. And we certainly haven’t seen anything like it since. In 2014, Bravo blessed us with a cast consisting of people from Europe trying to find success in America. Bleona Qereti hailed from Albania and is a singer/songwriter, known as the “Madonna of Albania.” She had the superior attitude to go with it. Bleona had been famous in her home country since childhood, so you can imagine her personality was a bit like taking a ride on the Ramonacoaster. This brings me to Fawni, a pop singer and artist prodigy from Austria. She was trying to heal a broken heart and had a recent #1 hit in Japan. Kind of like Erika Jayne but successful. I mean, how could you not watch this show. Sascha Gerecht was a hot to trot DJ, nightclub owner, and thriving fashion designer. He totally left his wife and two kids back in Germany so he could make it big in America. Legend has it they’re still waiting. There was also a jewelry designer and an actor who only came to America to win an Oscar. Spoiler alert: he didn’t. Euros of Hollywood adheres to the typical Bravo format of profanity, smoking, heavy drinking, and trivial fights. But the 2014 show’s stereotypes of Americans and various European ethnic groups would not fly in today’s environment. It was a fun ride while it lasted and only had one season. If you’re dying to try it, check out Amazon Prime Video.
3. Mother Funders
Bravo has desensitized us to many things, but you haven’t seen unhinged until you’ve been involved in, ahem, certain PTA/PTO environments. Some of these women are terrifying. In 2015, Mother Funders introduced PTO President Carla Stephens who was next-level “involved” in the art of fundraising for her kids’ school. Set in Locust Grove, Georgia, the hotbed of future famewhores, this train wreck captured members of a Parent Teacher Organization attempting to raise and donate money for their children’s elementary school. Yes, elementary school. With episodes titled “There is No ‘I’ in PTO” and “Parent Teacher (Dis)Organization”, Mother Funders’ summary said, “The only way of reaching her [Carla’s] goal is to keep the momentum going and get her fellow board members to plan, execute, and implement extravagant fundraising events which will rake in the cash – but ruffle some feathers along the way.” So basically humiliate, berate, and castigate was the name of the game on this gem. It had coups, revenge, and secret meetings. The show caused such an uproar, the featured PTO was “suspended” at the school. As you might assume, Mother Funders only had one season. If you’re feeling froggy, Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV carry the episodes.
2. Work of Art: The Next Great Artist
All kidding aside, I wish we could get something like Work of Art: The Next Great Artist back on the Bravo schedule. This show was a creative competition series from 2010 aiming to unearth fresh talent and shed light on the hidden workings of the artistic mind. Professional artists joined an expert panel every week, kind of like America’s Next Top Model but for art and without Tyra Banks ruining your life. It was a fresh look into the art world and different for viewers. First of all, China Chow was on this show. China was the daughter of model Tina Chow and Michael Chow (of Mr. Chow restaurant fame). I would watch China Chow read the newspaper, so this was thrilling to my old ass. Jerry Saltz and Bill Powers also judged. “Contestants” faced different challenges creating pieces of art in a variety of different mediums. Former Real Housewives of New York star Luann de Lesseps’ niece Nicole Nadeau (yes, the same niece that Adam Kenworthy dated, escalando!) was featured on the program, along with some brilliant and gifted folks. Highly suggest watching it if you want to binge something fun. It streams on Amazon Prime Video and Apple TV.
1. Battle of the Network Reality Stars
Please, tell me what limb I need to have removed to bring this back from 2005 and I will gladly do it. Let me live and reboot it with a current round of Bravo stars. Battle of the Network Reality Stars is exactly what it implies. Reality television celebs placed in compromising positions in an effort to win a competition. Yes please, and thank you. Taking their premise from the extremely popular Battle of the Network Stars from the 1970’s and 80’s, reality tv people from shows like Average Joe, The Bachelor, and Project Runway, etc. would participate in “games.” There was jousting, obstacle courses, dodge ball – basically sheer bliss for the viewer. Could you imagine Real Housewives of Beverly Hills versus Real Housewives of Orange County? Below Deck versus Southern Charm?? Bravo Gods, how dare you deprive us of such nirvana? Once again, this gem only had one season and the whole thing might have been a dream because it’s not available to stream.
Several of these shows didn’t come back because what viewers perceived as pearl-clutching incidents in the early 2000’s are now regular Tuesdays for someone like Lisa Rinna. It would be fun to see some revamped versions of these old friends.
TELL US- DO YOU REMEMBER ANY OF THESE SHOWS? WHICH ONE WAS YOUR FAVORITE? WHAT OLD BRAVO SHOW NEEDS A SECOND CHANCE?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
