Last night Nene Leakes finally reappeared on Real Housewives Of Atlanta. She probably should’ve stayed camouflaged in season’s past, because I personally have had enough of her martyr act. The same goes for Kenya Moore! You two are only victims of your own arrogance, ladies! And in the middle of it all was Cynthia Bailey, playing the role of the ever-forgiving, ever-loving, ever-obliging friend.
After going way overboard in her supposed clawback to Tanya Sam when Kenya arrived to lunch and called her the c-word, then brought a burnt Cookie Lady to ‘expose’ Paul Judge as a cheater, Kenya still does not at all feel she owes Tanya an apology. Of course she doesn’t.
Kenya’s desperation is showing, and that slip is dingy and frayed! Just like her marriage, and without being able to brag about being a “Mrs” and finally having the perfect life, Kenya needs the relevance of RHOA. Unfortunately Tanya and Cynthia have been caught in the crossfire.
Cynthia goes over to Kenya’s house where she is wearing sloppy ill-fitting un-shapewear and making a gourmet dinner for one after Marc Daly left early to return to NYC. Marc basically showed up to film planning an event he wants to promote on Real Housewives Of Atlanta, then left Kenya and the baby daughter he claims to love so much, for his real life in Brooklyn. So now Kenya is cooking the dinner she planned but giving Marc’s portion to Cynthia.
Except Cynthia’s not even sure she wants it either! Cynthia is furious that Kenya dragged her into the issues with Tanya by making it seem like Cynthia was involved in bringing Cookie Lady around. Kenya claims she only did this because she was mad that Cynthia told Tanya that Kenya was hinting that Paul was cheating in Toronto, which meant that Tanya exposing Kenya for wearing a wig was malicious, not snarky. So essentially Kenya was pissed that Cynthia was trying to be a good friend to Tanya.
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Let’s break this down to a level even Brooklyn could comprehend: Kenya tried to publicly embarrass Tanya by hinting that her fiancé was cheating, because she was mad that Tanya wasn’t receptive to her meddling in Tanya’s infertility journey. Because Kenya is a shitty friend, who is only there when it benefits her, she never privately sat Tanya down to share what Cookie Lady was saying about Paul. Neither did Cynthia but maybe at that time she thought it was a non-factor until Kenya made a big thing about it in Toronto? Instead, during a group dinner, Kenya tried to force Tanya into admitting her relationship was a fraud by dropping shady hints. This was after Kenya (and Cynthia) had been gossiping about Cookie Lady to the other women.
By the time Cynthia finally fold Tanya what was up, Tanya was in possession of a wig Kenya asked her to transport from the hotel in Toronto, back to America. So Tanya told some of the other ladies that Kenya wears a wig. I personally thought this was hilarious!
Kenya retaliated by coming to lunch and calling Tanya the c-word, then trots out Cookie Lady who is burnt and crispy as an overbaked praline. Kenya believes Tanya deserves this for embarrassing her and trying to ruin her haircare business (never mind that Kenya lying to her customers in the first place will ruin her business. Plus why not just play it off as, ‘Sometimes I wear a wig for bigger impact’?). Thus ripping the Chilean Sea Bass Kenya works so hard to provide out of Brooklyn’s toddler mouth.
The biggest problem is that Kenya, a mother of a daughter, is actually proud of her behavior. She thinks it says that no one can ‘come for her’. Lady – you are not demonstrating strength when you have a man publicly making a mockery of you, blatantly disrespecting and using you on TV. Kenya’s anger is with Marc for exposing her as a fraud. She’s projecting it onto Tanya because you know Paul is faithful and Tanya has everything Kenya wants. Except a baby, which is also why Kenya is inserting herself into Tanya’s IVF process.
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Since I am a Real Housewives conspiracy nut, I’m guessing Kenya conspired with Cookie Lady to make that accusation against Paul, telling this woman it would get her on TV. Except Cookie Lady was rude and totally unlikable, so nobody believed her. Nor do they want to sample her chocolate chips: Cookie, or otherwise.
Furthermore, I’m disappointed that Cynthia just let Kenya get off the hook for all that mess because she doesn’t want to become the next victim. Or maybe she had her plate full with NeNe.
After NeNe hired Publix to prepare some generic cheese trays for Cynthia’s Bailey Wine Cellar launch Cynthia feels compelled to at least give NeNe a chance to explain how their friendship fell apart. Cynthia sends a bottle of wine to Swag and suggests they meet at the wine cellar for a chat. The only person who is excited about this is Marlo Hampton because she fancies herself the ambassador who brokered this long-awaited peace summit. Am I the only one who really and truly does not care if Cynthia and NeNe get back to sisterhood? Even the flashbacks of their years of fake friendship did little move to my heart. I’d rather have scenes of Porsha Williams watching her baby crawl or Eva Marcille getting her cervix checked (OK… maybe not that.)
Cynthia puts some salsa in wine glasses and pops a bottle of champagne to welcome NeNe. …Aaaaaannd it goes exactly like one would expect a conversation between these two to go! NeNe is fixated on Cynthia calling her a “toxic friend,” because thinks of herself as a supportive sister. Despite 10+ years of Real Housewives Of Atlanta footage proving otherwise. Plus twitter, plus instagram, plus all the interviews and media gambits NeNe has done trashing her ‘sisters.’
NeNe wants Cynthia to take all the blame for their friendship failing. Cynthia tries to point out that NeNe also said horrible things about her and they are mutually responsible. NeNe refuses to hear this and storms out. So predictable! Obviously Cynthia chases after her, where NeNe is standing just outside the door fake crying. She couldn’t squeeze out a tear if her life depended on it! NeNe sniffles that Cynthia was the closest person to her and she feels betrayed and sosososososososo hurt. I am so tired of this shit! NeNe doesn’t care about any of these women. The only reason she even bothered to reconnect with Cynthia is because she wants to have an ally and best Kenya!
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Cynthia hugs NeNe, and apologizes – of course she did – because her identity is ‘being the bigger person.’ The whole thing was frankly uncomfortable, and super fake. Cynthia describes this as a good first step in rebuilding their friendship. NeNe thinks she has regained the upper-hand and decides to host one of her ‘infamous’ sisterhood-supporting “Leopard Lunch” events. To truly demonstrate that she is extending nothing but olive branches (which don’t grow in the jungle TBH) NeNe invites all the women – even Kenya – with a shady note about lying lions and jungles full of animals stalking their prey. Porsha is not interested in being hunted down by shade, so she opts to stay home. Porsha might have come if NeNe had personally invited her, but considering that NeNe is blocked on all channels that’s not really possible…
What makes this a “Leopard Lunch” is that everyone is supposed to wear a jungle animal print. Also Leopard and Lunch both start with the letter “L”. Cause this is Sesame Street for Housewives.
Cynthia and Eva arrive on time, but in the car to the restaurant Eva starts having contractions. Cynthia has to turn right around and drive her to the hospital on Dr. Jackie‘s orders. What is Eva even doing on this show if she’s not gonna give birth in a restaurant with Kandi Burruss turning someone’s dress into a surgical mask and cutting the cord using a steak knife?
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At this point lunch started 30 minutes ago, but the only other people who showed up were Kandi and Tanya. They sit there (and sit there and sit there and sit there…), fussing over the same basket of tortilla chips, until Kenya arrived 90 minutes late. Mind you NENE WAS STILL NOT THERE. Also at this point it was like 3pm, so way past lunchtime.
Kenya wore all white (is she surrendering to NeNe?) with a snake-print purse. She completely ignores Tanya as she says hello to Kandi and acts like nothing is wrong. Tanya is visibly (and rightly) annoyed and disgusted. When Kenya realizes NeNe isn’t there, she decides to leave after 5 minutes. Frankly I don’t blame her. If I had gotten dressed, trucked my ass across town, and the hostess hadn’t shown up, I’d bail too. I have no idea why Kandi and Tanya were still there unless they were being paid by the hour…
2.5 hours late, NeNe finally walks through the door, acting as if the star has finally arrived! She pretends to Tanya and Kandi that other women had been there all along, but at another table, team-building and connecting based on the magic of NeNe’s sisterhood creating powers. On cue, from around the corner comes a whole slew of women, dressed in leopard, acting like NeNe’s fan club. She had to have hired these people! Also, who does NeNe thinks she is? Oprah?? Like she is making an entrance and needs to be met with adoration and applause! NeNe gushes that she wants her real-life friends to meet her reality TV friends, presumably to teach them a lesson about what a good friend NeNe really is when you’re a good friend to her.
Then Marlo finally arrives. Even later! NeNe is actually annoyed that Eva went into labor, and made Cynthia miss her event. She is also annoyed that Porsha never showed. Just as NeNe is complaining that Porsha is rejecting all her attempts to reach out and blaming her for being a bad sister, in walks Porsha with Shamea Morton, dressed all leopard-y. And NeNe has the audacity to complain that she’s so late!!!! Porsha was 20 minutes later than NeNe as the RHOA countdown clock helpfully showed. At this point it’s about 4pm, so dinner if you’re on the early bird special.
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In the middle of NeNe lecturing Porsha on the importance of sisterhood, Eva calls Kandi with an update. NeNe asks Kandi to leave the table because she’s in the middle of talking, and leopard lunch is about building sisterhood with NeNe only. Can’t interrupt the queen with medical emergencies!!
NeNe’s ego is bigger than an elephant. If Eva is your sister wouldn’t you care about the health of her and her unborn child? Guess not when it interferes with Dingo Dinner.
TELL US – DOES KENYA OWE TANYA AN APOLOGY OR DID TANYA GET WHAT SHE DESERVES? SHOULD CYNTHIA AND NENE GIVE THEIR FRIENDSHIP ANOTHER CHANCE? WOULD YOU WAIT AT AN EVENT FOR A HOST WHO WAS 3 HOURS LATE?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
