This weekend is the big day. The wedding that literally no one thinks is a good idea. That’s right, y’all, in approximately 24 hours, Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright will be marching down the aisle towards the strategically-placed cameras wedded bliss. Prediction: Jax will sleep with at least one member of the bridal party in a bathroom at the reception. I mean, he’s already slept with most of them, what’s one more?
Corrected prediction: Jax will have a threesome with at least one member of the bridal party (my money’s on Kristen Doute, she’ll basically sleep with anyone) and a member of the catering staff during the cocktail hour. After all, if Jax will jump in the sack with a co-worker mere steps away from said co-worker’s aged and dying employer, he will pretty much do it any time, anywhere!
Lisa Vanderpump was originally slated to officiate the Kentucky-nuptials. Sadly, LVP’s mother passed away recently. As a result, LVP stepped away from her officiating duties.
But don’t worry, readers, the moonshine toasts and beer cheese fountain will go on! Entertainment Tonight reported that Lance Bass would step in for LVP and officiating the wedding.
RELATED: Lisa Vanderpump Speaks Out About Her Mother’s Death
If you’re like me, you’re thinking “Lance Bass? That is the most random back-up officiant ever!” According to ET, Jax and Lance are partners in “several businesses ventures.” Who knew? Now if you’re like me, you’re thinking “that knucklehead Jax owns ‘several business ventures??'” I own, like, 1/3 of a car and a cat who hates me! What is life right now?
Our sincere condolences to Lisa on the passing of her mom, and our sincere congrats to Brittany and Jax. May Jax’s commitment to sleeping with one woman for the rest of his life last longer than any of his noses.
RELATED: Kyle Richards Has A Message For Lisa Vanderpump
Breaking news- Lisa was spotted on Randall Emmett’s private jet en route to Kentucky.
TELL US- ARE YOU HAPPY LISA WAS ABLE TO MAKE IT?
[Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo]
