On this week’s Little Women: LA, it’s time for Elena Gant’s bachelorette party! Terra Jole and Tonya Banks are planning a Palm Springs getaway, but they have strict instructions that it can’t be tacky. So…why are Terra and Tonya planning it, then? After their day at the track, the group is on the outs with Briana Manson, who Tonya is particularly angry with for not showing up at day 3 of her video shoot. As for Terra, she is convinced that all of Briana’s issues (and her own issues with Briana) stem from her relationship with Matt.
Elena has been checking in on Briana since their blowup at the race track, and is having Briana over for a poolside chat at her home. Elena wants to support Briana and wants her to be at her bachelorette party, no matter what the rest of the group thinks. Briana is hesitant to attend, though, considering she was booted out of the last event by mean-girl Terra. In the end, Elena promises to talk to the rest of the girls to ensure no one confronts Briana about Matt on the trip. Briana promises to give Elena an answer in the morning.
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Christy McGinty is spending some bonding and shopping time with her daughter, Autumn. Both of them are getting surgery soon – neck for Christy, leg for Autumn. Autumn is scared about her surgery, which will be a procedure that breaks her legs, then reassembles them with plates and screws in order to prevent further bow-leggedness in the future. Autumn confronts Christy about why she wants a baby at such a critical moment in her life, when she’ll really need her mom to take care of her. Christy promises to talk to Todd about putting artificial insemination on hold.
Elena is packing for the trip when Terra shows up to review the rules of bachelorette weekend. Elena’s number one rule is: No Strippers! Oh, and no penises either. In that order? Elena tells Terra she wants Briana to come along, but they have to promise not to bring Matt up. Terra swears that it will not be her who brings up Matt because she’ll manipulate someone else into doing it. So, that’s settled!
The group arrives in Palm Springs, along with Terra’s tragic corn rows. The house is beautiful, but all Terra sees is a pool worthy of skinny dipping. Brittney Guzman and Jasmine Sorge roll in, with Christy and Elena following closely behind. The only one missing is Briana…but look who just showed up! The lady of the hour herself, Ms. Future International Jazz Star!
The ladies congregate by the pool and Terra tells Briana she knows they didn’t end things well at the track, but she just wants everyone to get along this weekend. Briana doesn’t feel supported (duh!), but Terra assures her she only cares about Briana’s happiness. But when Briana shuts her friends out, they can’t support her. Briana breaks down in tears, confessing that there’s been “a lot going on” that she’s been keeping it bottled up inside. Briana appreciates the kind words, but only time will tell if kind actions follow.
Elena comes out to announce that her wedding will take place in Russia – WHAT!? She’s calling it a “destination wedding,” but I’d say a wedding in Russia is more like a “Can you please spend 5 grand a piece to fly to my party?” wedding. Let’s hope Lifetime is chipping in a few rubles for this business. But wait – thank God. Elena is just trying out some good old American humor, because it’s just a joke, ya’ll! She’s actually planning on Hawaii. So, only 4K a piece, then? Jasmine says she already knows she won’t be able to go, but graciously tells Elena she’ll run it by her hubby anyway.
Inside the house, Jasmine asks Briana what she discussed with the ladies outside. Briana reiterates that she feels hurt by the lack of acknowledgment about her wedding, while everyone is going gaga over Elena’s vow renewal. The rest of the ladies assemble to get their pre-drinking on before heading out on the town. Brittney is ready to get her Freakabritt on, whether Elena is ready for it or not.
Terra surprises them by taking the group out to a drag show, which is actually a super fun choice for any bachelorette party – wild or tame! Elena gets dragged up to the stage to shake her thang, then do a celebratory shot. The ladies join her on stage for some dancing and screaming, then decide to take the party back to the pool. Elena is having a fun night and is grateful for Terra’s planning, which surprisingly didn’t go the way of the raunch.
Ah, but apparently the pool is where the real raunchiness is destined to take shape, as Terra decides to strip down to her skivvies, only to fall flat on her well-cushioned badonkadonk after exiting the pool! Christy is glad to be sober, but Briana is choosing sobriety tonight – and an early exit strategy to bed – rather than fake her amusement with this fickle group any longer.
The next morning, Jasmine and her ridiculous eyelashes calls her husband, Chris, to discuss Hawaii. He encourages her to go, but will not be able to take off work so early into his new job. She’s grateful to have such a supportive husband.
The ladies, minus Christy and Briana, head out to the grocery store later to get fixins’ for Tonya’s “famous barbecue chicken.” Is that served with a side of heifer? They ham it up in the store a bit, then discuss how much fun their night out was. Elena asks what Terra and Briana were talking about last night, but Terra flat out refuses to discuss Briana in front of the group – more specifically, in front of Jasmine. Who will run and tell Briana EVERYthing that anyone says the minute it’s spoken. Jasmine tells the ladies that what Briana wants, in the end, is just to know that her friends care about her.
Back at the house, Christy and Briana take the opportunity to have a heart to heart. Christy says it’s been really hard contacting Briana lately, and she feels pushed away. Briana wishes she could turn to Christy, but she tearily confesses she just feels 100 percent unsupported. Christy was initially supportive, but since Matt’s drinking and schlong pics have surfaced, not to mention his sketchy background, she just can’t offer that same level of support any longer. Briana wants to feel happy about her wedding, but even her parents have basically written her off. “I feel like everyone is just attacking my relationship because of a stupid mistake,” she cries. She confesses Matt feels horrible that her friends are attacking her because of his behavior. Christy apologizes for hurting her, and promises that she’ll be nothing but happy to see Briana walk down the aisle. Really?
Night two of Palm Springs will be indoor fun for the ladies, which is fine with Elena, but not Brittney. They play an erotic Q & A game where we learn TMI about each of the ladies, like how many times Tonya (or was that Jasmine?) “pleasures herself” per day. Questions turn to cheating, which brings the game to a halt when Brittney divulges how heartbroken she still is over her last boyfriend – her first love – leaving her for another woman. She still loves him, she confesses through tears. The group rallies around her, which is very sweet, encouraging her to love herself and write him off for good.
The party moves poolside as they chow down on Tonya’s barbecue. Because of the love they just showed Brittney inside about her ex, Briana feels like this might be the right time to divulge her own secret to the group. She works up the nerve to reveal the news: She and Matt are ALREADY MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh. Snap.
The Big News goes over with this group, as expected, like a Big Wet Turd. Tonya sighs, “wow,” while Terra claims “I knew it!” Terra wonders what else Briana may be keeping from them? Briana’s family already knows, but she didn’t tell her friends because, despite what Christy says, Briana didn’t feel like anyone in this particular circle would have been truly happy to see her walk down the aisle. She still wants to have a proper ceremony, though, so we’ll see if the ladies get invited to that. One lady who was in on the secret the entire time is Jasmine, who smirks as she confesses, “I knew.” As the ladies offer Briana reluctant hugs, Christy says she’s hurt that Briana didn’t feel comfortable enough in their friendship to share this news earlier.
The next morning, Elena channels her own inner mean girl as she pops Briana’s bubble of contentment. She tells Briana that despite the ladies congratulating and hugging her last night, it was all just an act. She made them all promise to be nice to her on this trip, but seems frankly more upset that they’ve all been made fools of as they’ve tried to “save” Briana from Matt all season – only to learn that Bonnie and Clyde done tied the knot already!
Elena then shows her cards (and her pettiness) as she tells Briana “it wasn’t the right moment” to bring up her marriage secret (at Elena’s party, of course). She tells Briana she hopes she finds her balance between caring about what people think and what makes her happy “without sacrificing true friendship.” Elena ends by coldly telling Briana she has nothing more to say except that she is really disappointed with her.
Well, it seems Briana has grown used to people being disappointed with her lately. But what this group may be finally starting to realize is that, frankly, Briana just doesn’t give a damn.
TELL US: WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BRIANA’S BIG NEWS!?
Photo Credit: Lifetime
