Aaaahhh… last night the bitchery on Project Runway was at an all-time high. Apparently the producers think we want that – we don’t. We want high-quality interesting fashions. We didn’t get that. We got meltdowns of epic proportions instead. And one delightful Dmitry who is slowly warming my ice cold Reality TV fashion blogging heart. Marry me you Russian dancing boy stud with the deadpan stare.
So last night the designers had to divide into two teams and create a “capsule collection” of work wear for Marie Claire Work – which is apparently a magazine? Is that like the magazines Ramona Singer appeared on the cover of? AKA: no one has heard of them and you can get them for free next to the trashcans outside of the 7-11? Anyway, yay! Product promotions!
So Gunnar (crazy skunk head loony boy with drama coursing through his veins like a fiery will) and Raoul (already eliminated once and back with a desperate vengeance) are picked last. Cue the meltdowns. Shockingly it was Elena, Dmitry‘s former Soviet Bloc comrade, who suffered from the biggest bitchery fit last night.
CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE FASHION TRASHIN’!
Oh, lawdy that girl has issues that need to be quelled. She should calm down by drowning her insanity in some vodka cause she was yelling, hollering, and carrying on more than usual last night. “I hey-ate teamz,” she glowered. Ok, well teamz hey-ate you too. And you know what I hey-ate? A grown woman wearing overalls and neon yellow slip-on shoes carrying on like a five year old who was told NO CANDY!
Girl, put your big girl panties on and stoppit with the shenanigans before Heidi gets all bitchress German Fraulein on your ass and reprimands you with an auf. Dang, Elena (aka psychotica) is rapidly becoming a contender for ultimate reality TV villains!
The other troublesome thing about last night is what these people think real people wear to work. I mean, I like to bust out my hoochie wear to go to the office (which thankfully happens to be my living room), but people that work in an actual office probably aren’t wearing flying monkey costumes, shortie skirts, and awkwardly sewn white chiffon pants. And if they are, I need to stop working from home!
So, yeah, that’s all a long way to describe that last night was a disaster. BTW: JoAnna Coles of Marie Claire classic was the guest judge. So let’s get to a-trashin’ the looks.
[Photo Credit: LifetimeTV.com]
Team Elena So Crazee (aka Team 6): They won – barely. Melissa had the winning look and Raul was sent home for being boring. Surprisingly, during judging no one but Dmitry and Raul called Elena out on her horrifying behavior. I think they were scared of her. I am.
Team Chiffonee (aka Team 5): This team had some serious issues with matronly materials and styles!
TELL US – DO YOU AGREE WITH THE RESULTS? SURPRISED NO ONE BUT DMITRY AND RAUL CALLED ELENA OUT ON HER OUTRAGEOUS BEHAVIOR?
Team Elena So Crazee (aka Team 6)
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Alicia & Elena Look 1
Elena & Alicia Look 1: It's ironic that Elena made a jacket that looked like a flying monkey from Wizard of Oz costume, because she certainly was the wicked witch! Quick - someone drop Parsons School of Design on her head! -
Alicia & Elena Look 2
Alicia & Elena Look 2: I was not a fan of these pants even though Nina praised them to the gills. Frankly, I think she was just impressed someone made something that was actually suitable for a real workplace environment! I mean the pants were ok, but nothing special and the hem was ridiculous. Elena's jacket was beautiful, but boring too. That whole look was a yawn. -
Dmitry
Dmitry: Secretary at a high class escort company. Really, a cut-out in the back at work? I mean, I guess if you want to be escorted to HR! -
Melissa
Melissa: This is what Astronaut Barbie wears to work when she's not on the Mattel Spaceship. I mean striking dress, beautifully made, but who exactly is wearing this to work? -
Raul & Sonija Look 1
Raul & Sonjia Look 1: Well, that skirt was fantastic but the blouse had hits and misses. Namely that crazy ruffling that stood out six feet from her chest and reminded me of cat whiskers. However, this was definitely one of the most (and only) true work appropriate outfits on the runway last night. Of course the judges were too busy saying things like 'I don't like this.' and 'I would fire my attorney for having bad taste' to notice. Frankly, Raul deserved to go home because his pieces were dull and didn't demonstrate much of a point of view, but at least he semi-adhered to the challenge by making things one actually could wear to work without getting a dress code violation. -
Raul & Sonjia Look 2
Raul & Sonija Look 2: Again, this was actually appropriate for the workplace, but it also had some sass and interest. That is what women quest to wear to work - interesting things that stand out but are conservative. No one is wearing a dress with cut-outs at the base of the butt or a huge tube obscuring their face unless they work in fashion. That being said, it was Sonjia's skirt that gave this look all its sass. And even though Elena was being a bitch, she was right to complain about the lack of technical skill in Raul's shirt. A leather top with no darts? Nyet!
Team Chiffonee (aka Team 5)
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Christopher
Christopher: Christopher: Except for the skirt this was utterly boring. And matronly. Kind of reminded me of a flight attendant outfit. -
Fabio:
Fabio: The judges were raving about this, but I don't get it. It looked like a tennis outfit. -
Gunnar:
Gunnar: The judges dubbed this "souffle boobs" and were seriously devastated by the treatment of the bodice with all the pleating. The biggest problem I had with this is how dated it looked. Hello, 80s! I think it was that print they chose. And the choker neckline. Ick. Ick. Ick. Gunnar don't quit your day job. Actually, get a day job and quit fashion. The fabric wasn't his fault, but the taste levels are! -
Nathan:
Nathan: Oh sweet Jesus. That reverse wedgie looking swath of fabric on the pants. White wide legged ill-fitting pants, to boot! Heidi defended this as appropriate for an older marketplace. The one-shouldered top in that floral? At work? Oh lord. This outfit said two things: Junior League Luncheon or Aging Divorcee on a date. Also, the belt was a hideous choice. At least Joanna had the good graces to be disgusted by this as she called the pants pajamas. -
Ven
Ven: Ven thinks he is amazing. I think he over-works things and his clothes look dated and a little dowdy. Case in point this jacket. It was ok, but it definitely read "older." I don't get why they chose white chiffon. For work... Huh?