Mob Wives Recap: The Spa Party From Hell

After that pesky little football game sidelined the Mob Wives last week, the ladies were back last night with extra drama to make up for their absence.

The episode opens with Renee Graziano speaking with ex-husband Junior Pagan about how she feels an impending sense of doom.  However, she believes it is because of her loony friends having such heated arguments with each other.  She wasn’t too keen on hearing that Ramona has been talking smack about her all over town.  Renee is also stressed about Junior’s upcoming indictment.  The lady has a lot on her plate.

Drita D’avanzo discusses the state of her relationship with Lee with her daughter.  She brings up the “D” word, and while I am glad she’s talking about this to her daughter, it is irking me that she’s doing it on camera.  Her daughter tells her that Lee has promised to take all of the family on a vacation and she’d like to go to Hawaii.  Drita gets choked up by this revelation.

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Karen Gravano is hosting a spa party at Renee’s house.  Ramona Rizzo is in attendance, so it should be interesting given Renee’s new knowledge about her.  No worries, though!  Big Ang is also there in all of her glory.  She is my idol.  Not since Mama Elsa on RHOM have I loved a reality star so much.  Karen hopes that Carla Facciolo will be in attendance which Ramona thinks will be “interesting.”  Renee drops the bomb that she has also invited Drita.  Oh the faces on Karen and Ramona upon hearing this news!

Renee basically lays down the law… they are having the party at her house and she doesn’t want anyone to feeling left out of anything.  Karen isn’t keen on Renee inviting people to her party, even though Renee is kind enough to host it in her home.  Big Ang is the voice of reason saying things like “discombobulated” and “get over it.”  Amazing.  Karen is giving Renee a facial.  I am so confused.  I guess I am used to spa parties Adrienne Maloof style, not this slumber party-esque “bullsh*t” as Big Ang says.  Renee tells Karen that Carla told her she was worried about being ambushed at the party.  Carla then calls Karen to ask for a raincheck… she has been invited to go out with her ex and their kids.  Renee is adamant Karen asks Carla about the “ambush” comment as she doesn’t want to look like a liar.  Carla cops to what she said to Renee, but assures Karen that they will get together soon.  Why, oh why did Renee feel the need to stir that pot?  Big Ang and I are over the dramz.  She’s out – she was hoping for a Maloof spa day as well.

Ramona challenges Renee, and Karen wants Ramona to call Carla right away to address the situation.  Renee loses it – not at her house, oh no they won’t!  There is some poor blonde lady with a bad perm who is smack dab in the middle of Ramona and Renee’s cussfest.  Renee is tired of being put in the middle between the Ramona/Karen duo and the Drita/Carla pair.  Karen is just pissed that her spa party is ruined.  I don’t think anyone wanted Karen spray-tanning them anyway, so the random guests seem to be relieved.  Renee is just hoping she can hold her tongue and not mention that she knows Ramona has been telling folks that Junior only married her because he wanted to be close to her father.  Oh the irony of that now.

After such a stressful spa party, Renee wants to be pampered.  She invites Drita over to do her make-up.  Renee discusses her issues with Junior and believes she is sabotaging their relationship.  Drita agrees.  Randomly, I love Renee’s lime green flats.  Elsewhere, Ramona and Karen attempt to ride bicycles.  They talk about their favorite topics: Drita and Carla.  Ramona is willing to meet with Carla to bury the hatchet.  Both think that Carla is harmless, equating her to nothing more than Drita’s lackey.

Carla and Drita go to Big Ang’s bar for happy hour.  I want to go there so badly.  Big Ang relays that Karen was disappointed that Carla didn’t attend the spa party.  However, Big Ang thinks that Carla made the right decision putting her children first.  In her sidebar interview, Big Ang expresses that Karen and Ramona are acting very immature.  After hearing who all was in attendance at the party, Carla is beyond thrilled that she sent her regrets.

Drita is visiting with ReneeAJ has been getting in trouble at school, and Renee has stolen Junior’s phone.  She hacks into it by entering the date of his mother’s death.  Drita is freaking out that the pair is going to get caught.  They here a suspect message where a woman professes her love to Junior.  Renee is happy to report to a freaking out Drita that it’s his cousin.  Junior walks in and Drita about has a heart attack.  Renee returns his phone which she “found in the couch” with Drita telling her she’s so calm, cool and collected it’s like she does this stuff all the time.  She so does.  Duh.

Carla gets a call from Lucifer Ramona asking for a one-on-one meeting.  Carla is quick to tell her that she doesn’t want a screaming match so she’s not interested.  Ramona says she only screams at her children.  Well, they apparently have in common – the fact that they don’t like to scream at other adults.  Score.  Ramona thinks Carla is acting too big for her britches, but she’s willing to overlook that… for now.  Either the pair makes peace or beats the crap out of one another… they both mainly agree to meet to appease Renee.

Drita lunches with long-time friend Bridget.  Bridget relays that she’s heard Lee is contesting the divorce.  Drita is floored.  She hates that Staten Island is such a cess pool for gossip.  Drita tells Bridget that she cannot forgive his infidelity.  She will straight up flip out–I think there was some talk about blowing up cars–if he won’t sign the divorce papers.  Yikes.

Carla meets with Renee to chat about the ominous Ramona phone call.  Renee is not happy and offers to be a mediator.  Carla says thanks, but no thanks.  Carla doesn’t need any additional people participating in the drama.  Renee is concerned because Carla doesn’t seem to be afraid of Ramona.  And according to Renee, she should be… Ramona bites.

At the meeting that will surely be heard around Staten Island, Ramona and Carla dine together in an empty (thankfully) restaurant.  Ramona has heard from two boroughs (that’s a lot!) that Carla called her an “arch nemesis.”  Ramona couldn’t care less what Carla thinks of her as the women don’t know one another.  If Ramona wanted to be her enemy, she would make Carla’s life a living hell.  She’s being nice, you know?  My question, if Ramona doesn’t care about Carla, why was she so insistent on meeting with her to clear the air?  Ramona accuses Carla of having her brain molded by Drita.  Carla is quick to say she’s her own person, and Ramona seems to threaten her.  It is very much like the Carla/Karen dinner when the pair is screaming one minute and buying Be Fri/St End heart lockets the next.  The duo agrees that they will ignore their animosity over Drita and move forward.  Um, okay.

Next week, Karen is facing scrutiny in light of her new book.  Ramona breaks the news of her meeting with Carla to Karen, and Carla does likewise with DritaBig Ang encourages Drita to get over things, while Renee and Junior go to couples’ counseling.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S MOB WIVES?  COMMENTS ON THAT HALF A$$ED SPA PARTY?  ARE CARLA AND RAMONA BEING SINCERE OR ARE THEY KEEPING THEIR FRIENDS CLOSE AND ENEMIES CLOSER?

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